Betrayed
by EmoPissass
Summary: Two thousand years later, they're finally together again in their seventeen year old selves. Two thousand years of fighting, two thousand years of missing and maybe, finally, the truth of Kilgarrah's prophecy will be revealed. Merarthur fanfiction.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I do apologize, guys. But, nothing excuses bad writing! And, all of the Shalott chapters are so long. Also, there is a good point I was making in quickening the pace of all of this – for the conclusion is best. For a time break (because they don't like more than one space T. T) I'm aligning them center. Just the ones belonging in the past or are not clearly defined.**

 **Hope you enjoy the new chapters.**

* * *

Rage shook Merlin to the core as Arthur closed his eyes for the last time. He had failed. The prophecy he had so long tried to curb had taken over. And Merlin had failed.

The body Merlin dragged around now was not his Arthur. No, Arthur wouldn't have been so accepting of his friend's magic. Arthur hated magic, blamed it for everything. Merlin almost smiled at the memories. Hadn't magic been proven to continuously kick Arthur in the butt, knocking him unconscious, trying to kill him for over eight years?

Eight years, Merlin thought sadly as he saddled Arthur back to the horse, curious of his pale demeanor. Had it truly been eight years of Arthur's reign? Eight years and Arthur hadn't matured… much.

Arthur would have wanted to die on the battlefield. It was Merlin's determination to defy the prophecy that had let him die in his arms. Merlin felt the tears sliding down his face, his head buried in his hair. He had forgotten Morgana's body close to her half brothers. He had forgotten everything.

Trying once more to defy this prophecy, the tears replaced with anger, he called for Kilgarrah in the language of old, holding Arthur to him. He pleaded with the Great Dragon, wishing he could have died himself. At the time, it was selfish. After all, Arthur would have felt the same way throughout his life.

The day he returned to Camelot was the day Merlin became a ghost. He felt eyes of worry on him, eyes that blamed him. Time moved slowly and yet, quickly. Gwen had remarried – too soon. What was too soon, Merlin? It had only been two or three months. No, Merlin, six years. No, it can't be! He argued fervently. Arthur was only here yesterday! Don't you remember his brood, his royal pratness sitting in that very desk?

He turned to prove his point, discovering the desk no longer there. Strange, he thought to himself, that Arthur should move the desk. No, he reminded himself bitterly. Arthur was no longer there. Gwen had placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder and nodded, gripping it tightly. She, too, slipped away from his mind.

What the good is being magic, Merlin thought as he poured over the books in the libraries, if I can't use it when I need to? To him, days and days passed. Gaius passed. Aithusa came and went. Merlin barely noticed.

Within his books, sources of his friend's mysteries and pasts came through. Like the Griffin that had come, and Gwaine's friends that had come to join them. Still, not a word about how to resurrect the true Arthur, not the Shade Arthur.

It was twenty years before Merlin finally stepped away. Gwen and her new husband had aged. He watched as she loved again, the smile big on her face. This enraged him. He wrote how she had never loved Arthur. That he, Merlin, had been the only one. That he was the only one paying for his destiny. That he was, in essence, living for Arthur to return – for, he is the magic and only magic will allow Arthur to return to the land of the living.

With an eternal potion, Merlin vowed to watch the resurrection of Arthur, to be the guiding hand that helps Arthur acclimatize to this ever-changing world. No one had ever thought to look for him in the ruins of the castle. He, himself, hadn't realized that it so changed.

Hoping to ask a favour of Kilgarrah, he spoke in the tongue of the Dragon Lords. To his surprise, Aithusa answered. It was not the same Aithusa that he recalled – her wing had been fixed since the last time he saw her. She was bigger with spears in her scales, panicked by what Merlin had wanted.

He asked her where Kilgarrah was. She spoke well enough to answer. Kilgarrah had taught her to talk but, he was no longer in this world. He had passed into the Great Cave. Merlin sat next to her, speechless. How much time has passed, he asked. Time, she answered, enough that people would hunt the last of her kind and sell the scales. Where magic is not celebrated and wielders will burn them. Merlin covered his face, unable to cry his frustration. She nudged his shoulder.

Do not cry, Merlin. There are some that know the story of the great Warlock and his loyalty to the Once and Future King. Perhaps they'll answer the questions he has. She had become wise, Merlin thought as he smiled with a brief glimmer of hope. But where to go? Anywhere, Aithusa answered, flying off to hide.

He traveled over Albion first then, on to Ireland. He had aged, his hunched figure shaking as he traveled towards inner Europe and Asia, reaching no wanted logic. Every time he used magic, he felt Arthur everywhere: beside him, around him. He heard his voice, saw his eyes. Time had not changed the young man he knew. At first, Merlin wept, saying he shouldn't have died. After a while, he ignored the figure and its antics, focusing on his spell work.

It wasn't until the twelfth century that Merlin first experienced the return. He had been sleeping on a cot, gasping for breath as his back cracked into a different position. His hair fell out in clumps, producing fresh black hair, matted at the back. His cataracts had fallen away, replaced with bright blue eyes. The rough skin smoothed over, like a cloth. The wrinkles fell away.

Panicked, Merlin looked for a connection, for someone to tell him what had happened. No one knew who he was as he questioned his teachers. Upon his insistence that he was Merlin, they stopped and stared. Some thought he was crazy. Only one thought differently.

He sat next to this boy, both praying to the underworld. The medium stood up, possessed by something. He could only answer with one repeated phrase: Arthur Pendragon, Once and Future King, is alive!

The medium never recovered. Merlin felt nothing except the excitement of seeing Arthur again. But, where was he?

* * *

Merlin searched everywhere with the sight to find him. But, his Arthur, his King, was no where around. Merlin aged once again, feeling panicked. He had failed his King again. Even his magic hadn't helped.

The twentieth century had vast achievements no one could have predicted. Merlin had been young during the first and second World Wars yet, he couldn't find Arthur. Or, he muttered bitterly to himself while nurses and doctors swiveled around him, he was being patriotic towards Germany. For a brief flash, he saw Arthur next to Uther. Hitler and Uther… Those two would have made fine friends.

He was unaware of the gazes or the rumors about him. He was only aware that, by the end of the first year, he resided in the hospital care. He aged, as always and found the IV dripping into his arm after a stroke. In his opinion, the nurses and doctors had forced the stroke with their poison. He laughed at their attempts. As if he hadn't tried it before when hope was lost. He couldn't die. But, that didn't mean he couldn't feel the agony as his overly old heart had slowed it's beating.

* * *

During his recovery, a nurse that reminded him of Gwen checked on him constantly, a pleasant smile on her face. "And how are you today, Merlin?"

Even the way she spoke his name reminded him of her. He tried to sit up, smiling weakly. "Much better."

He paused. Was that really his voice? That croaking sound? For a thousand-year-old Warlock, it should sound more majestic, more commanding than that. He shrugged to himself. "How are you today, Gwen?"

The nurse rolled her eyes at him as she fluffed his pillows. By now, even if her name tag said Jennifer, she and the other staff never tried to correct him. No, Merlin thought to himself, she knows her name is Gwen. It's always been her name. "I'm alright. Thank you."

Another nurse, the one he called Morgana, rolled in his roommate. Gaius. Except, this wasn't the kind of man he knew in Camelot but a bitter, old, angry man who yelled at the girl for everything until she was in tears. Gwen smiled sadly at Morgana. Gaius turned towards Merlin.

"Goddamn kidney stones are hard to pass!" Gaius' look alike shouted, his eyes narrowing in Morgana's direction. "The women may be easy on the eyes but, they are some of the dumbest people in the world."

Morgana's copy cat shook her head as she bit her lip. "Malcolm, take your medicine."

"Why can't I have Jennifer do it?" Gaius shouted, throwing a fit. "She's not a dolled up, stupid…"

Merlin covered his ears, his heart going out to Morgana. Even in this life, she had someone constantly demeaning her for her abilities. She and Gwen were his favorite nurses and, despite his reputation, Uther (Doctor Bates) was his least favorite physician. Still, Gwen switched places with Morgana. As Angelica (again, a name that Merlin refused to acknowledge) slid out the bedpan, he took her arm and gestured her closer. She leaned in, her ear close to his lips.

"Don't listen to Gaius. You're amazing, and you'll do wonderful things." Morgana smiled at him as he sighed. Talking was difficult for him, now. He smiled to himself as he thought of the times it had gotten him out of trouble. Or rather, into trouble as he took the fall for Arthur's antics. Or their first meeting. He made himself sad thinking about it.

"Thank you, Merlin." Morgana whispered back as she took his hand and sat next to him, dragging him out of his thoughts.

"How's… Leon?" Merlin rasped, trying to remember the name of Morgana's fiancé. He knew that wasn't Angelica's fiancé's name but, he couldn't be bothered. Angelica shook her head.

"Leon's fine. He's still working but, I'm pregnant." On and on, she prattled. Merlin briefly wondered if Morgana had done so in the years' he had known her. Of course, he had never spent much time with her seeing as Arthur took up his time.

He must have dozed off because Morgana and Jennifer had gone. Gaius was snoring as Merlin lifted himself, ignoring the shaking in his arms. Uther stood over him, reading his chart. He gave him a snide smile that sent shivers up Merlin's spine. Still the scariest man I've ever met, he concluded, gulping.

"Well, Mr. Merlin, you're doing fine. But, a man of your age must dial down these… excitations." Uther set the clipboard down and gingerly took Merlin's wrist. Merlin stared at him, distrusting. "Your pulse is weak. I suggest you stay here for another few days."

Merlin watched Uther closely, his eyes narrowed. Had he not known the mans habits in past lives, he would have been more attentive to him. But, he did know and, he also knew that Uther could mess up his life. So, he tuned him out.

"And, furthermore-," Uther whispered to Jennifer.

"Dad." A new voice whined loudly. Merlin furrowed his eyebrows and paused on the blonde-haired boy, no older than seventeen. He opened and closed his mouth. If that boy is Arthur, he'll understand. Instead, the boy's attention was focused on his father. Merlin's heart dropped slightly, freezing the man as he momentarily flatlined. Jennifer was by his side as Uther glared at the new comer.

"Henry, how many times must I remind you not to disturb me when I am working?" Uther scolded. The boy scoffed, defiant.

"Can I go yet? You said I only had to be here for a few hours." He was pouting. Merlin shook his head. No, that wasn't Arthur.

"This will look great on your job applications and your transcripts, Henry. You want to be a politician, don't you?" Uther encouraged in his monotone way. Merlin gritted his teeth, glaring at Uther's reflection in the glass. Henry paused momentarily.

"But, I've been here for five hours and-,"

"And we'll go when I'm done. OK?" Uther cut his son off quickly, checking his watch and exiting the room at a quick pace. Henry let out a dejected sigh and sat next to Gaius who, appeared to be sleeping. Henry pressed his lips against the man's forehead. Gaius' eyes flung open, startled. They settled on Henry and a smile overtook his shock. Henry returned the easy smile.

"Has Richard been here?" Gaius asked, stretching a little. "I hate hospitals."

"He says you have another week, Grandad." Henry answered, spitting out his reply. "I'd rather you home than him."

Merlin listened to their conversation, growing bored. Though Henry looked like Arthur, he would never live to his standard. His attention returned to the duo.

"… And that old crone is Merlin." Gaius stated, gesturing dismissively towards him. Henry smiled and waved toward the warlock. "Anyway, happy sixteenth birthday, Once and Future King."

Merlin's eyes bulged out of his head. Henry only laughed and shook his head. "Shouldn't I get a new title?"

"No new titles. It's the Grandad's rule." Gaius insisted grumpily, dismissing the younger and returning to his sleep.

Henry stood by Merlin's bed, checking his watch. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Merlin."

With that, he ran off. Merlin laughed to himself. That little wretch is the Once and Future King? I'll eat my hat.

* * *

Merlin felt the familiar agony as he clutched to the bed sheets, sweat pouring down his face. If this was death, it had failed. But, if it was not death, if this was him returning to a younger age, where the hell was he supposed to look for Arthur? How long had it been, anyway? Over fifty years ago, at least. Was it this painful?

His body convulsed in the darkness as the tingling sensation ran through his arthritic fingers and up his spine to his neck. The hunchback posture straightened with a familiar crack. He bit his lip as the machine he was hooked up to beeped rapidly to his strained heart. His aching bones stopped aching as clumps of white hair fell to the floor. The missing teeth and gaps painfully returned to their former positions. At long last, he slumped into the bed, panting. He glanced at the machine and shuddered, ripping the needles and tape out. Yes, his hands were smooth again. He had no problems breathing. Now, where was Arthur?

Standing, he stretched towards his toes. This time had been more painful, he recalled. He set his temper on determination as he wandered the halls. He would not fail. Not this time. "And, what are you doing out of bed?"

Merlin glanced at the nurse. Thankfully, it hadn't been 'Jennifer' or 'Angelica'. No, this one was Elena, if he remembered correctly. Yes, that blonde hair and clumsy demeanor. Merlin felt a twinge of guilt as he held onto her shoulders. A century of developing his powers and he was using them against his friends. "You will find me a change of clothes. The elder gentleman, Merlin, has passed away and his body resides with the coroner. All paper work and the body was destroyed. Set the fire."

Elena furrowed her eyebrows as Merlin set the instructions. He watched as the dazed look took over, his slow incantation bringing meaning to every word. With a nod, she set off on her tasks. At least half an hour passed before Merlin tried to come up with a story. He hadn't seen so many people that reminded him of the past than here. Maybe Henry could be Arthur. How could he intervene in their lives? He couldn't say he was Merlin. No, that'd get him locked up. He could say that Merlin was his grandfather. But, why didn't he visit? Because… Hunith needed him.

Hunith… Merlin felt another course of guilt. He hadn't attended her funeral. Shaking it off, he opened the door with his magic and sat in a car, turning it on. It was more magic than he had used in three years. He thought about his story some more. Instead, his mind turned toward Hunith herself. Was she disappointed in her son? Or, did she understand?

Focus, Merlin scolded himself. Hunith. Now, sons took the name of their fathers. He wasn't completely lying if he were to say he were Taliesin Emrys Balinor. Again, Merlin snapped himself out of his thoughts. Yes, my name is Taliesin. He looked himself in the rear-view mirror, the ancient eyes under the long eyelashes. You are sixteen years old. You are Taliesin Emrys.

He sighed as he brushed away the thoughts of Balinor and Hunith again. He focused in the mirror. Taliesin Emrys Balinor, son of Dragonus Balinor and Hunith Merlin.

Bullshit, thought Merlin. He pinched the bridge of his nose. Your mother needs your help. Your father has passed away. You are sixteen.

He could have laughed and told himself off. But, the last time he held conversations with himself, they locked him up in the nut house. This time will be different, he concluded as he pulled on his seat belt. So long as he could help Arthur with whatever he needed, it will be different.

* * *

 _He found himself swimming towards the surface. The barge he had been placed on had decayed and he had fallen off. Water, water everywhere. Something was holding him back._

 _He looked for his companion, standing on the shore. Evidence of tears on his face, he wore a mask of numbness. Idiot, help me! He thought to his companion._

 _He inhaled by accident. Water in his lungs. His eyes blurred. The figure left. And he was drowning._

He sat up in bed as he coughed up water, enough to create a lake in his bedroom. _The_ lake, he reminded himself as he slipped into the bathroom, clearing his lungs of the substance. He looked himself in the mirror, flushed. Raising an eyebrow, he examined himself closely. It was as if he had never left.

But, he knew who he was and who he was not and he was not himself. So, who was he? Clear your mind, he ordered himself. Images flashed through, castles, orders. Vows. Wars. But, who was he now?

Politics. Yes, he had been involved in politics. The boy shook his head, his clear blue eyes peering from behind his blonde mess of hair. Yes, and he was interested in politics. That was it. That was the game his doctor father wanted him to play. A position of power. All his lives had been similar. But, who was he? His name was Henry. Is Henry, he scolded himself as he caught his breath.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Richard. Richard leaned against the doorframe, rubbing his tired eyes. "What are you doing up, Henry?"

"Bad dream." He grumbled. My name is Henry Bates. I am sixteen years old. I live with… Richard Bates. My grandad is… Malcolm. I love my father and would die for him.

Richard patted his son on the shoulder. "Get some rest, Henry. Don't forget you have an eight-hour shift at the hospital."

Oh joy, he thought to himself as he nodded absentmindedly. Richard returned to bed as he sank to the ground, covering his face. Was he on his own this time? He shook his head staring at his hands. Regardless of Merlin's promise, he had never returned to him. Did he die?

Again, Arthur shook his head. No, Merlin didn't die. He'd known if he had, right? No, thought Arthur firmly as he slipped into the covers, Merlin's not dead. He just doesn't care. He vowed to protect me with his life and, like the coward he is, he won't come to me.

Arthur fluffed the pillow with a look of amazement. Why was this bed so comfortable? He remembered his head in Merlin's lap on his dying day. How comfortable had that been. But, Uther was right. Warlocks aren't to be trusted so, he should never trust a warlock.

With that, he fell asleep.

* * *

 **A/N: Not much changed – just the writing! I feel better about it now! :D Sorry if that was horrible.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Fixed this version. Based off of Episode ONE! Not Two! I fail at times.**

* * *

Drained. Yes, that's exactly how Merlin felt as he heard the alarm going off somewhere in this room. With eyes squinted, he shut off the clock radio and pushed his bangs back, trying to remember his surroundings.

Three days had passed. He remembered nothing about how he had acquired this apartment except that he must have used magic. Why else would I be drained? Merlin thought to himself with a groan. Without Arthur, his magic felt like a high. With Arthur, he was usually too worried to remember the bliss. Now that he had risen again, Merlin knew that it was time to start using his magic for the better.

The one-bedroom apartment held more fitness equipment than Merlin had ever cared for. All the items in the fridge were past the expiration dates. He sighed and sat on the couch, his tired eyes on the clock and his eyes on his new cellphone. Had it really been him who had manipulated everyone in his haste to return to Arthur? He had betrayed Elena but, somehow, not caring for humans had shaken him to his core. That night, the least harmful thing he had done was adding his information into his own file.

He slipped the laptop onto his lap, checking his messages continuously. He lifted his phone and set it down. He rested his head on his knees and shut his eyes. He walked around the apartment, pacing back and forth. It was the longest four hours of his long life when a call finally came through. He inhaled once and pressed the green button.

"Hello?" He spoke into the receiver.

"Hi. This is Angelica from London Bridge Hospital. Could I speak with a Taliesin Balinor?" Merlin held a smile, imaging how satisfying it would be to say there is no Taliesin and hang up on her like she did to many people.

"Speaking." He replied instead, leaning against the back of the couch.

Merlin waited an hour, staring off towards the bed with envy in the hopes that someone would call with his arms wrapped around his shins. He rested his head on his knees for a couple of moments, shutting his eyes for a few moments until, at three P. M., the call came through. He took a shaky breath and pressed the green button.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Hi… Could I speak to Taliesin Emrys Balinor?" Gwen's voice answered. Merlin held a smile, imagining how satisfying it would be to say 'there is no Taliesin' and hang up on her like she did to so many people.

"Speaking." He replied instead, leaning against the back of the couch.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Balinor. I'm sorry to disturb you but, your grandfather, Merlin Emrys, passed away last night." Merlin held a snicker, ignoring the surreal emotion. After all, how many times could he hear that he died when he knew he was alive? "I'll be patching you to his attending doctor, OK?"

"Yes, that's fine." He scratched the back of his head, crossing his arms over his chest. There was a cough on the other end of the line.

"Good afternoon. Am I speaking with Mr. Balinor?"

"Yes." Merlin stated curtly.

"Ah, Mr. Balinor. I'm Richard Bates, the doctor who treated your grandfather. We need you to come in to sign some papers if you want his ashes." The coldness in Dr. Bates' voice sent shivers up his spine. Merlin grounded himself again, thinking what a normal person would say.

"His… His ashes?"

"Yes. I'm sorry but, there was a fire caused by an incompetent nurse. Anyway, come in, go to the front desk and tell them your name. I'll leave the papers there." There was a click. Merlin sighed in relief. Despite how many times he had to do this, he could never lie well.

* * *

Taliesin Balinor walked into the waiting room of the hospital, his eyes wide as he took the white walls in. He had spent the last five years here only to return when he was healthy. By the definition of insanity, he thought, I am insane.

Jennifer approached him first, her similarities to Gwen pausing Merlin. He focused hard on reminding himself that she was called Jennifer, not Gwen. She dropped her pan carrying medicine by bumping into him. She flinched at the crash, her eyes curiously working up to his face. Slight recognition and a shake of her head, she managed a smile. "Sorry about that, sir."

Merlin bent with her, helping her to organize the tray. "I got it… Jennifer."

He held the tray in his arms. She gave him a wide smile and held onto the edges, slipping it from his hands and gesturing to the counter with her head. He smiled back and nodded, approaching and scanning the familiar faces. Angelica and Richard were fighting about something. She wiped her face once he walked off, plunking herself in the chair. Her eyes lifted to Merlin after a minute. With a fake smile, she rested her head on her palm. "How can I help you?"

"I'm Taliesin Balinor. I had a phone call from… Angelica about my grandfather?"

Angelica nodded solemnly, her eyes downcast. "Yes, your grandfather, Merlin. I'm so sorry. He was such a sweet man. But, he never mentioned a grandson."

She eyed him skeptically. Merlin shrugged. "He and mum didn't get along. Probably disowned her after a while."

The lie was simple enough and she seemed to be defeated by that logic. "Well, Mr. Balinor. I'm sad to say that your grandfather's body…"

"I heard. What happened, exactly?"

Angelica held up a finger, lifting the clipboard to Merlin. "Fill that out."

She lifted the receiver and spoke in a clear voice, "Dr. Bates to the front counter. Dr. Bates, to the counter."

He raised an eyebrow at her. Angelica only smiled. "He can explain it better than I can."

"Thank you." He hoped that his face wouldn't smile at such a sombre time. She nodded and gestured to a seat. Elena does a good job, he thought to himself as he sat. He had finished the forms when Dr. Bates came around, his scowl intensified as he guided Merlin towards a hallway for privacy.

"Mr. Balinor, your grandfather had been suffering from a weak heart for a few years." Merlin nodded, his eyes wandering as Henry walked by. The boy who looked so much like Arthur stopped, came to stand by Richard. They had a few words which passed over Merlin's education. He could feel Henry's hand on his arm, helping him to sit down. After a few minutes, Merlin finally snapped himself out of his trance, his head turning towards his companion. The boys clear blue eyes turned serious yet, compassionate. His lips were chapped. Merlin scanned his face, confused by it.

"Sir, are you all right?" The boy asked, his voice husky and low. Merlin nodded, grinning to himself and hoping it wasn't shown.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He answered. Considering how he sounded, he wondered vaguely if this wasn't just a vivid dream. But, if it were a dream, why would he be so tired? Why would his magic be affecting him to feel drained? Anxious?

Henry patted Merlin's hand. "I have to go. Just stay here for a bit, take a few deep breaths and you'll be fine."

Henry shot Merlin a reassuring smile, standing and doing his walkabout. Merlin's eyes wandered, landing on a bulletin board. Scanning it, he smiled to himself and stood, writing with the pen on the volunteer sheet his name and his phone number. Regardless if Arthur had risen or not, Merlin was sure he could do some good here. Maybe Arthur would find him. After all, destiny – especially his destiny – is forever.

* * *

Arthur glanced at Merlin, his eyes immediately averting to the room down the hall. Avoidence was his best bet on occasions like this – especially when he was angry. What could he possibly say, after all? Oh, hey dude. How've you been? Me? Just hating you for not showing up. Of course, if he had chosen the room next to their conversation, he could listen in.

Unfortunately, Richard Bates had a different idea. "Henry, look after this man until he recovers."

Arthur thought of a few things he'd like to say to that but, the resemblance in both temperament and characteristics reminded him of his father. He had remembered laughing with Morgana as she mocked him. Her father. God, even after all these centuries, it was weird that they still shared a father.

He shook himself out of his daydream and took Merlin's arm, guiding him to a nearby chair. For a moment, hope bubbled up with the idea that Merlin would recognize him as Arthur and everything would be forgotten. But then, Arthur was one to hold a grudge – he had a right to.

Minutes passed before Merlin's attention returned to him, those big blue eyes in wonder. Arthur wracked Henry's brain for the training. "Are you all right?"

Merlin nodded, an expression of confusion and bewilderment on his face. Perhaps Merlin lived like I do, Arthur thought, returning over and over again. Maybe he hadn't remembered. Or maybe, he thinks I don't remember. What would happen if I told him? Right now? No, not right now.

He patted Merlin's hand without an answer. He needed to get away and think about it. "I have to go. Just stay here for a bit, take a few deep breaths and you'll be fine."

He smiled his best and wandered aimlessly down the hallway.

The son of a prostitute deserves it, thought Arthur as he glided down the hallways. He shook his head and tried to smile as Gwen passed him. No, not Gwen. Jen, he scolded himself and stopped her. "Jen, where am I supposed to be right now?"

"Let me check." She glanced at the sheet posted on the wall. Duh. Arthur could almost hear Henry call from the land of the far or wherever his hosts go. He grimaced. If Merlin didn't show up this time, this poor boy would be dead. Just like the others. "OK so, first would be Steven's room. Poor boy. And then, it's the visit with Malcolm for about an hour and then, you have your lunch with Dr. Bates. Then, it's orientation for the volunteers."

"Thanks." Arthur tried his best to smile, walking Henry's familiar paths towards Steven. It turned out that it was meant to be Stevens: Mr. Harry Stevens who had suffered a car accident and was in a coma. The poor man still had pieces of glass in his skin. Arthur shook his head at the remarkable likeness towards Sir Ewan. Did that mean that Valiant was around again? No, it couldn't mean that.

With a quick check and a squeeze of the hand, Arthur disappeared into Malcolm's room. Malcolm had fallen asleep, a book lain across his chest. Arthur's heart skipped a beat. Gaius had been the one to help in most of their adventures. And now, here he lay with a serious issue. He could almost hear Henry's laughter when Malcolm shot up, grumbling.

"Excuse me." Angelica whispered as she slipped past, medicine in her hands. Gaius sat up abruptly.

"The useless one? I told you, I only want Jennifer to help me." Gaius shouted. Arthur jumped as the old man's face dissolved into a smile, all traces of anger leaving him. "Henry, m'boy. Come in, come on! Sit and take a load off, future king!"

Future King? Arthur thought as he sat down. Gaius had no complaints once Arthur had visited him. "Come and give your Grandad a big ol' hug."

"Grandad, what's going on?" Arthur asked as he patted the old man's back. "Why do you call me the Future King?"

If Malcolm noticed the slip up, he didn't say anything. "You know, when you were a little boy, you loved the story of King Arthur so much, you insisted on it. Oh, that takes me back. The Once and Future King, he who tried to make everyone equal. That's when you decided on politics."

On and on, the old man prattled and though Arthur should have paid attention, he could only think of how inaccurate it was.

After his meeting with Malcolm, he found Alison (Elena) getting scolded by Eleanor (Mithian). Apparently, they were together. Arthur tried to wrap his mind around that. It didn't seem to surprise Henry. The only thing Arthur could believe was his father's abilities. His thoughts continually returned to Merlin as he visited every patient, and his old anger inflamed. If he were honest, his anger is what got him through his shift. Just like old times.

* * *

 _Fields and hills and greenery surrounded him. A town, he knew, lay just behind him. He squatted near the road, hiding his face with the underbrush, his breathing stilled over the trot of horses. He half expected to hear Merlin's untimely talking next to him, drawing the riders in their direction. Nervous ramblings were Merlin's trait, he recalled fondly, returning his attention to the knights._

 _Since King Richard, the true King (ironic, Arthur thought, that he believed in this true king) went on his crusade, King John had levied a tax from the already starving outlier towns. He, a lowly peasant, was to stop him. He pulled out his sword as the last horse trotted by and paused. Valiant. That had to be Valiant._

 _The escort stopped as Arthur called out his name, crawling from the underbrush. Off guard, Arthur felt an old friend sinking deeply into his chest cavity. Blood clogged the air passages as he fell to his knees, his vision blurring. Lesson learned, no one knows._

 _"That's not right!" Arthur screamed from the crowd of people as the executioner lifted the ax. He glared at Arthur, swirling his ax. "It's not right to kill people just for being different, Morgana."_

 _Arthur realized his mistake. Idiot, he thought, no one KNOWS. The executioner's green eyes narrowed into slits. "Morgana? This man is obviously a witch."_

 _"How?" Someone in the crowd asked._

 _"Can't it be he just really likes the tales of King Arthur?" Another shouted. Through their disagreements, Arthur felt his head lopped off. Doubt flooded his spirit._

 _World War One. It had been four hundred years since his last resurrection. He stood in the garrets with his men. He was in the first wave of those that had been sent to fight. A German on the other side of the barracks had this planned. For the second time, Mordred had killed Arthur._

 _Only twenty years later did Arthur find himself in the body of a young adult. He knew well, unlike the others, that his features had shifted. It didn't matter, he reminded himself, because Merlin was dead._

 _Others of his battalion had been injured past saving and there was only one hero – some doctor that had 'true' skills. He never would have believed it if he weren't bombed. When he woke again, he saw Merlin's expression of relief, the kindness in his eyes. That had to have been Merlin, Arthur thought. He stared in disbelief and tried to sit up. Merlin held him down. "You've had a bad break, soldier. Please, sleep."_

 _Arthur did as he was told, hoping for an explanation. He didn't see Merlin again in that war but, he had been healed beyond their expectations. He took his steps, Gwaine and Lancelot reincarnations following him closely. The ground gave out under him and he fell into a small cave, one that reminded him all too much of the one Nimueh had trapped him in. With no escape, he felt the bites of the Balorian spiders, their poison in his system. No one would find this body._

* * *

Arthur jolted awake, holding onto his chest where he felt his heart beating rapidly. It took him a few minutes to realize that he was not in the cave where he died but the room in which he slept. In a cold sweat, he rested his head in his hands, trying to shake the images away. _I'm safe_ , he told himself over and over. Somehow, the words weren't as assuring as he intended them to be.

He paced back and forth at the edge of the bed, continuously pushing his hair away from his face. The memories clouded his judgment. Finally, he calmed himself enough to sit.

Why had this all occurred? Who could have saved him in every circumstance? The answer came to his mind and his face flashed through. Of course. That Taliesin had to be Merlin. There was no other.

Finding a pen next to his notepad, Arthur took a deep breath and wrote at the top: Questions to Answer.

The week was painful and taxing. Arthur, regardless of what year it was and what body he was in, was never going to be a morning person. Yet, every morning at six am, Mr. Bates would pull Arthur's ankle and lead him out of the bed while Arthur, subconsciously, would grab onto whatever he could just to remain asleep for the next four to five minutes. His sleep blurred eyes covered his groggy, slouched stance as he dressed and tiptoed towards the car, covering his yawns.

After that, he started his early ritual. Apparently, Henry used to slip through the rooms with coffee for the staff, biscuits and donuts for kids and crumpets for adults until he caught a bus around eight to take him to school. School, Arthur thought each day, may be bad for you, Henry, but imagine being over a century old and having to return to learn things. Although Arthur knew everything from history to the development of science to the evolution of the English language, one thing never changed: his love for gym. And that was where he discovered Henry's only secret.

Arthur recognized the love and respect in Andy's eyes as the other boy wrapped his arms around Arthur's waist and kissed his forehead, resting his cheek on Arthur's blonde mess of hair. "Hey, beautiful."

"Morning." Arthur whispered although some form of arousal and resentment had clouded his judgment. The resentment he knew from being raised by Uther Pendragon. The arousal, however, had caught him off guard.

And just like that, Arthur's thoughts were plagued by Henry's genetically engineering towards men. Arthur spent hours trying to push the thoughts away with other anomalies. Was Henry the first homosexual he had been reincarnated inside? Or were there others? Now that he thought on it, he could recall the World War One private but, that may have been a coincidence. Yet, considering that his own soul was aroused, is it possible that he, Arthur Pendragon, was boy crazy?

He shook his head and tried to focus on his first life. People had to have been stupid if they thought that he and Merlin knew nothing of the rumors that they hid behind. Even Gwen had shared in the topics, sharing secrets like Gaius had actually started the spread, not serving girls. What had it been? Oh, yes. It's like you two are two sides of the same coin. You'd do anything for Merlin and he for you. At the time, Arthur chortled. Yeah, well, if he'd do anything for me, he'd give my room a better tidying, wouldn't he?

Arthur snapped out of his thoughts as Saturday morning rolled around. Uther had tapped on the door impatiently. "Henry, get out of bed!"

"Coming." Arthur called back as he redressed himself, shaking himself awake. Today had to be better, he thought as he ran a comb through his hair. Uther was waiting by the kitchen, breakfast on the stove.

"You know your tasks today?" Uther asked, not glancing up from his morning tea.

"Yes. I check in on people, look at their charts, visit with Grandfather and then train the new volunteers." Arthur recited as Henry had done a million times before, picking up a coffee. Uther nodded and tossed the rest of the tea in the drain.

"We have a long day ahead of us. Let's go."

Unlike his kingly counterpart, Merlin wasted no time in settling into his life. Though his unknown flatmate had let him live there, Merlin knew that his magic was a little off with this latest return. Updating his licence was a breeze yet, getting a car and a flat of his own were a little more challenging. The final landlord in a crap hole halfway across the city had finally given in but, Merlin was not impressed with the state of his bachelor suite. Acquiring new furniture had sucked up most of his life's earnings. He decided he would not redecorate until he could move out.

The worst thing about this reincarnation, though, was school. Now mandatory for kids to go to school, Merlin hissed at the concept but, he did know one thing: his education was nothing. He talked and looked like an old man from the thirties. Reluctantly, he slid his name in for an interview with the finest schools, hoping to find his Arthur. After all, a doctor who wanted his son to be a politician wouldn't spare a dime for that education.

Finally, he heard the alarm clock blazing in the darkened room, a groan surpassing his lips. He yawned as he sat up in bed, feeling his head for the familiar stick up hair. Seven am, he thought to himself as he sat upright in his new bed. Three hours of nothing and then work. He put the kettle on and stared at it intently, hoping he wouldn't doze off and miss his first shift.

"Hello, I'm here for orientation?" Merlin asked Gwen, trying to control his tired expression. Gwen nodded, a brief smile on her lips.

"I'm glad that you came to help others. How are you feeling about your grandfather's… passing?" Her pause made Merlin melt. Same Gwen, different name.

"It's hard but, I want to show my appreciation to all the staff and, the only way I can do that is to volunteer here." With that, she put her hand on his arm and led him to a room filled with chairs and a projector. At twelve precisely, Arthur came in and closed the door. His eyes shifted around the room, counting out loud, then back to his checkboard.

"It seems we're all here. If we're not, boo hoo to them." He grabbed one of the chairs and straddled the back, resting his arms on top. "You're here to volunteer which means, you're not a professional. If you have some training, do what you can while waiting for a doctor."

On and on Arthur prattled. Merlin glanced around, amazed at how struck the others were with his instructions. Of course, Merlin knew that Arthur was charismatic and, it seemed, so was his double. With a dismissal, most of the room filed out. Merlin approached Arthur slowly, unsure of what he was to say.

"Um, hi…" Merlin started. Arthur's head shot up.

"Uh, zoned out guy." Arthur nodded to himself as he leaned forward.

"Taliesin. I just wanted to say thank you for the other day and that if there's anyway I could help-"

"I don't know what orientation you came into, buddy, but volunteers assist as I just spent an hour describing. If you're too stupid to remember to listen, that's your business." Arthur glanced down at his checklist. Merlin backed away.

"Prat." He said out loud, quickly checking to make sure Arthur didn't hear him.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry I had to redo this one. Just the notes. I failed on that portion. But, hopefully I didn't kill it.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Based off episode Two! I think I'll have him do magic more often.**

* * *

Merlin stared at the alarm, his eyes slitting at the noise. He pressed the snooze button and laid in bed, hearing Gaius' voice from the beyond. Whimpering, he sat up and pressed his head against his hands. Again, his eyes trailed to the clock. Who the hell woke up at six am? He thought to himself as he stood, stretching.

His answer popped into his head once the coffee pot grumbled. Uther. And Merlin worked for Uther. He shook his head and groaned, whining as he set his head down. He knew it was his fault: he stayed up late. But his American Wizard connection had just woken up, talking to him. The Warlock88 had been helpful in many aspects and his experience was vast. Merlin smiled to himself, proud of his accomplishment and that magic had lived through the persecution.

Merlin managed to lift himself off his chair once he finished his coffee and stretched. He hadn't felt so tired in all his years. Not like this.

He acquired his items and took one more glance at the apartment, closing the door behind him.

Sunday was a dismal day to force people to work, Merlin thought as he held out his hand in the water, hoping it would stop. Sure, his mind continued, I'm working in the field I know well and I get to see Arthur… If that is Arthur.

He shook his head and closed his umbrella, marching to Jennifer the minute he saw her. "Where do you need me?"

"Taliesin!" She greeted, barely hearing the sentence. Her smile faltered as she picked up her clipboard. "You're needed… In room 402."

"Where's that?" Merlin asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"It's just a visitation." She replied, falling into her habit of rambling. "She's a dear old lady, Andrea. Loves to talk. Will talk your ear off, in fact. Too many times I've accidentally stumbled into her room…"

"Andrea." Merlin replied, mentally kicking himself. After all, how many times had he wished to hear Gwen rambling when he missed her? Gwen flushed, her eyes downcast.

"She's on the fourth floor, second room." She fluttered away quickly. Merlin felt a twinge of guilt for his abruptness but, he hadn't come here for Gwen. Without a backward glance, he slipped into the elevator.

* * *

Andrea was a sweet old lady, just like Gwen had described though, she hid her medication many times on Merlin with the hope she wouldn't have to take it. Merlin grinned at her childish ways and her pouting each time he found it, hoping that he would remain youthful in that aspect as well.

To his dismay, his break came fast upon them. The break room was empty except for two old nurses, knitting in the corner and exchanging gossip. Merlin paid for a Pepsi and sat down away from them, wondering where he'd wind up. Inevitably, his ears perked at their conversation.

"Oh, Edward's a dear. Hush." The one said to the other, rolling her eyes.

"No, it's true. Since he came on, just about all of Henry's patients have mysteriously passed on. He's the only one who could have done it."

"What about Dr. Bates?" Merlin raised an eyebrow as the story teller scoffed.

"Why would Dr. Bates kill his sons' patients? It does nothing for either of them. No, Edward was the only one around."

"What?" Merlin asked, wide eyed. The two old nurses glared at the interruption. He blushed slightly, his eyes still frantic. "Why hasn't anyone done anything about Edward?"

"It's a rumor, dear." The story telling lady spelt out. "It doesn't make it true. In fact, most of the cases Henry gets are about to die anyway."

"Ha! Proof that it wasn't Edward!" The other lady shouted in triumph.

"Has anyone tried to get proof?" Merlin asked, trying to seem nonchalant. The nurses shrugged.

"Not that we know of."

Merlin traipsed the hospital looking for Henry only to wind up back in the breakroom. Henry sat alone, a paper and a coffee in front of him. Henry's eyes trailed upwards on Merlin's arrival. "Taliesin, right?"

"No time for chit chat." Merlin answered, locking the door. Henry raised an eyebrow in suspicion, stiff as a board when Merlin sat down across from him.

"What's this about?"

"Va… There's a rumor going on that Edward has been poisoning your patients." Merlin waited for the reaction. Henry cracked into a smile.

"A rumor is just that – a rumor."

"But, it could be true."

"Taliesin, unless you have any other proof than a rumor, I suggest you leave."

"Damn it, Henry! How many times have your patients died? Besides the old and crippling that were going to die anyway?"

"I might not like Edward and… Well, he is a hack but, that doesn't mean he's killing my patients." Though he stated it with vindication, Henry's face faltered. Merlin grinned to himself, thinking about Valiant in the competition.

"So, if I get the proof, you'll bring it up?" He thought of making a truth serum or casting a simple opposite day spell. After all, deny a murder when also denying the sky is blue and does that make him a mad man? Henry shook his head.

"No. This rumor has been going on too long. What we'll do is get a few spy cams. If you're wrong, your words will never be valued again. If you're right, well… Edward will be fired and your words will be the first I trust." He glanced at his clock and sighed, slipping in a bookbag with a school name into his locker. "And, I'm late. See you tomorrow, Merlin."

Merlin smiled and agreed.

* * *

Arthur stood at the doorway of Uther's office, watching his father searching through his papers. At this point, Henry would have been bored out of his skull, the ever-organized child. Arthur didn't share in the organization but, watching someone else rifle through paper was less exciting than anything else. From the corner of his eye, he watched the security trade off team. He excused himself from the dullness to the more exciting. After all, hadn't his life been dull before Merlin arrived the first time?

"George, nice to see you." The security officer shrugged, sipping his coffee. "Listen, I got a favor to ask."

"What type of favor?"

"Can you set up a camera in each of my patients' rooms?"

"Rumors finally get to you?" George asked, tossing his empty cup.

"Yes. Either let it rest or show me evidence, right? It's a little unethical but…" He shrugged. George nodded.

"Yeah, I can set it up. Your computer or…"

"Yeah, my computer. Also, set it up with a link." That way, Taliesin can watch, too. Arthur grinned at his cleverness, watching George typing frantically on his laptop. He tried to take his eyes off George's handiwork, surprised with the amount of security cameras in the room. He smiled to himself, hearing Uther's voice screaming Sorcery down the hall. Yeah, dad, humans are now sorcerers and we need to kill them all, his thoughts voiced. George looked up at him with a quizzical expression. Arthur shrugged. "Just thought of something funny."

"Uh-huh. Here you go." With an elaborate thanks, Arthur slid the laptop in his bag. It wasn't until he reached his father's office that he froze. What was Taliesin's freakin' e-mail?

* * *

Merlin started his shift early that next morning, a cup of coffee and a magazine in his hands. He felt good about himself right now – even if Henry wasn't Arthur, he could look after Henry. All he had to do was pass the admissions requirement on Wednesday and, next week, he'd be a student. He looked on the check in desk and found a note from Henry to meet him in the break room.

Being the first in the break room, however, was dampening his room. Leftover napkins, coffee cups and a water bottle lay on the table. Merlin sighed and slid his own on an empty space. Don't they clean up in here? He thought to himself, starting the clean up. He was about a third of the way when his eyes had crossed a title: "Questions to Ask" in Henry's handwriting. And, the first question had Merlin's name on it.

Slipping this piece of paper into his pocket, Merlin finished cleaning and locked his laptop into his locker and finishing his coffee. With no one able to give him orders until seven, Merlin decided to stake out Henry's survivors. That plan, however, was quickly ended when an old man grabbed Merlin, insisting that he had assisted him in World War Two. Merlin didn't doubt it.

His shift, though agonizing, was more eventful than others. He saw Edward continuously 'checking' on Henry's patients and even on Henry's grandfather, Malcolm. Merlin's heart fluttered with fear, knowing how upset Henry would be if his grandfather died. Upon Edward returning, Merlin fled to the old man and found nothing.

With his shift over, Merlin sat in the break room for a few more minutes before Henry showed. The latter apologized profusely and asked if Taliesin had been waiting long. Merlin denied waiting long, his shift had just ended. Henry smiled slightly and they exchanged e-mails, their talk of coup on hiatus. Henry went off on his usual rounds and Merlin left, excited for a change.

* * *

He had just entered his e-mail to find a link from Henry containing their watch. Merlin examined the screen, starting off with what they missed. In two hours, however, he grew bored and his attention wandered. He refocused when he caught himself and stared intently. His breaks were two minutes long and, by three am, he checked his e-mail with dead eyes, wondering if Henry were watching it too. He had received three messages from the other.

The first note appeared in RE: Assistance: Taliesin, are you watching? Do you want to do this in rotation? It's fine if you don't.

The second was a bit more frantic RE: TALIESIN reading I'm guessing you're taking the first one? Message back. This was your idea, remember.

The third and last one read: Taliesin, this isn't funny! Where the hell are you, idiot? Are you watching? Reply!

Merlin laughed to himself, remembering how Arthur would respond to Merlin's quiet periods. He hit reply: I'm awake. I was just watching it. And yeah, I do want to take this in shifts. I've watched four hours worth.

He's probably sleeping by now, Merlin thought as he poured out another coffee. Upon his return and to his surprise, Henry messaged him back.

Finally you reply! I've been watching the most recent but, I'm guessing he's not going to do it tonight – it wasn't his shift today. We'll keep it going. Get some sleep and see you tomorrow.

Merlin was thankful for Henry's orders but, found himself unable. Instead, he read the paper in his pocket. Upon finishing, he swallowed and considering typing his response in an e-mail. He thought better of it. With a sigh, he grabbed a piece of paper and began to write.

Why did Merlin abandon Arthur in his times of need in recent history? Merlin was far, far away from Arthur, somewhere in China or Russia when Arthur came back the first few times. In fact, this may be the first time Merlin was anywhere near Arthur during a resurrection. Merlin was looking for Arthur and, barring that, a way to die.

Where was he each time? See the above.

How come Merlin never dies? That is the best question. My guess is because there needs to be magic to resurrect Arthur and Merlin is magic. Unless Arthur has forgotten that.

Merlin glared at himself. He had never responded by his name so much in a sentence before. Merlin held the piece of paper tightly, trying to devise plans to reveal to Henry who he was.

* * *

At school, Merlin could never look at Henry without the fear of his boyfriend's following gaze. But, time moved on and Henry was the one to find out whether the rumor was true or not. It was. Henry beamed at Merlin who smiled politely as he searched for some differences.

He asked around but, no one could tear apart the duo. As he watched, Arthur and Henry seemed to be one. In his empty apartment, Merlin focused on his options. The first was that Henry was not Arthur. But, if he wasn't Arthur, why would he have left questions where Merlin could read them? The second was that Arthur was playing it cool. But, he knew that Merlin was dense at times. The last reason seemed the most probable: Merlin was no longer considered trustworthy by Arthur.

He felt a pang in his heart as he mulled the last one over. Throwing himself on his bed, he hugged his knees to his chest. Did Arthur hate him?

From beyond the great cave, he could have heard Kilgarrah's laugh and words. "A half cannot hate that which makes it whole."

* * *

 **A/N: Better? Worse? I think so!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Yes, rewriting this chapter! Woo! Three more of the rewrites (after this one, of course) and you will have new chapters to read and hate me for!**

* * *

 _Merlin patted his pocket and smiled to himself, knowing that the questions were answered. Panic only entered his being once he stepped into the hospital and found many patients on the clipboard who needed intensive care. What had gone on?_

 _"Taliesin!" Henry called, patting Merlin on the back once he approached him. Glancing down at the clipboard, his excitement drained. "Yeah… All of the sudden, almost every single person is dying."_

 _"What do you think it is?" Merlin asked, walking with Henry. The blonde shrugged._

 _"Beats me. Everyone seems to think it's the flu. But, I haven't seen an epidemic this big. Have you?"_

 _The black plague, Merlin thought. Instead, he shook his head. "No, never."_

 _Henry was about to speak again when his pager went off. With a sigh, he waved at Merlin and ran back. Merlin made it to a Mr. Radical's room._

 _Mr. Radical was there before Merlin had his injury. The man was one hundred and twenty-eight, completely bald, and aggressive. Once Merlin stepped into the room, he felt his freedom flee and take over the duties of the last nurse. Radical sat on the chair, continuously yelling at Merlin to speed up or slow down depending on his current ailment. Many others moved past him as Merlin pushed his charge towards the washroom._

 _"Taliesin!" Henry yelled, running towards Merlin. "Have you given him the injection?"_

 _"Not yet. He -ooph." Merlin rubbed the spot where Radical's cane had hit him._

 _"Flirt later! I gotta piss!" Radical's voice happened to sound panicked. Merlin rolled his eyes, apologized to Henry and started to walk, thinking that if he could have gotten away with it, he would have taken the cane out of Radical's hand and whacked him over the head back. Henry met his steps easily._

 _"You haven't given him the injection yet?"_

 _"No, didn't have a chance. Do you have it?" Merlin asked, mocking. Henry nodded. Merlin stopped the chair, barely missing another hit on the head. Radical screamed bloody murder as Henry slipped the vaccination in._

 _"No, I don't want no damn needle! I need to pee!" Radical summed up. Merlin and Henry exchanged glances._

 _"Apparently, he really, really has to pee." Sarcasm coated Merlin's words. Henry barely smiled._

 _"So I've heard." He glanced at his pager again and waved towards Merlin before darting off to his next appointment. Merlin wondered if he should have given Henry the piece of paper or if it was a good thing he didn't have the chance. His thoughts ended abruptly as he rubbed his bruising arm and pushed his client into the stall._

* * *

Merlin stood outside his patient's hospital room, stone faced. The memory ran through his head numerous times. He had an issue with it being only yesterday. How had the wiry, bossy old man managed to die under Merlin's care? That had never happened before – even in both World Wars.

The family stood by the man – no, corpse, he reminded himself, each weeping. Merlin rested his head against the doorframe, feeling horrible about the stuff he had thought and said under his breath directed at the old man. Jennifer, holding two bouquets of flowers, touched his shoulder. Merlin jumped and turned to her, wiping away viciously at the tears. _Stupid,_ thought Merlin, _that I should cry when I've seen more than my fair share of death._

As if reading his thoughts, Jennifer pulled him into a hug. "It wasn't your fault, Tally. There're people dying from this sickness. Half of the hospital has failed and no one's near a cure."

"I should have looked after him better." Merlin answered, his head returning to the scene. He blinked a few times, puzzled by a kind faced Uther talking and consoling the family.

"You did the best you could. Better, even. Dr. Bates said so." Jennifer slipped one of the bouquets into his hands as Uther slipped past the duo, nodding towards them. "Give it to the family."

She vanished as Merlin stepped through the doorway and breathed heavily. The members of the family stared at him. "Who are you?"

"I… I was his attendant…" Merlin gulped as one of the grandchildren started to cry. The family nodded as one of the children took the bouquet. He muttered a spell and kept himself from smiling as one of the grandkids noticed the butterfly. _A bit of happiness for you,_ he thought toward the corpse as they exclaimed excitedly.

* * *

It wasn't the last corpse Merlin saw that month. Each dead body, every grieving family, no matter what he did, what magic he used, what potions he added, the patients would leave this world alone. Dr. Bates had started a tirade with the belief everyone was at fault because a toxicology screening showed the patients getting poison in their system. Instead of being rational, though, Uther Bates (as Merlin nicknamed him) insisted everyone but the prescription druggists be checked. Though Merlin held no angst against this new Nimueh, she was old. Of course, Merlin was older but, her faculties were gone whereas his were as quick as a whip. Unfortunately, his status of volunteer fed Merlin no voice.

As he came on his next shift, he found his locker open and Henry nosing around, a disgusted look on his face. "Taliesin, why is your locker so messy."

"Because it's my locker." Merlin retorted, trying to sound more like his sassy self. "More importantly, why are you looking in my locker?"

"Dr. Bates' orders." Henry answered in a bored tone, removing a moldy sandwich with a look of expectance. "Seriously?"

"Cultural class." He sat in front of his locker, watching portions of his new life being thrown in the trash. His eyes widened as he noticed the little parchment in Arthur's hand. On one hand, it would solve a problem. On the other hand, if it were Arthur, he would be livid. Without a word, Merlin took the parchment from the other's hand and hid it behind his back.

"What's that?" Henry asked, raising an eyebrow of suspicion and surprise.

"A love note, what else?" Merlin answered, feeling a bit like his idiotic self. Henry opened his mouth, closed it, shook his head and continued examining it. Merlin could almost hear Arthur's voice in his head. _Who's the girl, Merlin?_

"No, nothing." Henry stepped aside for Merlin to take his coat off. "Though, you need organization."

"I'll get to it after my rounds, prat." Merlin answered, watching his coat falling to the bottom of the locker. He pushed it in further with his foot before slamming the door. Hoping the last comment wouldn't tip of the maybe Arthur, Merlin whipped his head around. "So, who's next? Ingrid?"

"No, you were the last person I checked." Henry sat on the bench, resting his head on his hands. Merlin resisted the urge to smile.

"You want to do some spying?" He asked, leaning against his metal door.

"After you organize your locker. And, only if you answer your e-mail." Henry replied, straightening his back.

Merlin was about to answer when Jennifer came in, her eyes red and puffy from crying. Merlin knew what had happened before she opened her mouth – except, this time, it was her sister. Immediately dispatching himself from the group, Merlin slipped out of the break room, the hospital door and into the nearest library. Regardless of how many years he'd been alive, there were two sights he would never bear again: Arthur crying and Gwen crying. The other patients would just have to wait a while to see if he could find a cure.

* * *

Merlin sat cross legged on the couch, a cup of coffee on the coffee table, his laptop beside the coffee cup, an assortment of medical and magic books scattered throughout the living room. His school books remained in their prison, waiting for Merlin to finish. His phone had rung hours ago with Angelica asking where had gone. Sick, he told them. Of course, he was informed that he could only use that excuse once or there would be consequences. Merlin rubbed his temples and glanced at the clock, wondering when midnight rolled around. He finished reading a chapter when his laptop dinged, showing a message from Henry.

Where did you go? What are your plans for finding out about the mysterious illness? Willing and ready to stay the night! Will create cover!

Merlin sighed and replied: Yeah, sorry. I was feeling ill. We/You can stay over night OR we can set up the cameras like last time? Your choice!

He had just finished reading the first paragraph when Arthur replied.

Sam disease? Cameras are easier!

Merlin replied with a negative and an OK before reading again. At one, with sudden revelation, he grinned to himself. A simple clearing poison everyone needs in their life that can overcome almost anything.

* * *

In the same fashion as before, Merlin applied his nutrient poison to Gwen's sister. Thus far, her sister was fine if not a little looped from the issues. However, as it did before, Merlin's plan backfired. As Henry set up the camera under the rouse of security, they heard Richard's voice.

"You must have done something! No one as yet has gotten up from this flu! Now, tell me or I'll have no choice but to fire you!"

Gwen's panicked voice filled the hospital. "But, I didn't do anything! Maybe someone else did or… My sister's strong."

"Sure, blame your coworkers. Why wouldn't they help their own patients first?" Silence followed. With a sigh, Richard pinched the bridge of his nose. "As of right now, you are suspended of your duties impending investigation without pay."

Richard walked away from the wailing girl as she continued to plead, reaching hysterics. Merlin slipped away from Henry's camera setting to find his friend on the floor, her eyes covered by her hands as she sobbed violently. He draped his arm over her shoulders. Turning into his chest, she sobbed as he held her tightly, rubbing her back. His eyes glared in the direction of Dr. Bates.

* * *

He seriously fired her?

Merlin's laptop chimed as Henry continued typing in their messaging system. From what Merlin could tell, Henry was using a phone as he watched the cameras on his laptop and Merlin studied for a test.

Not fired, Henry. His exact words, and I quote, "suspended with an impending investigation without pay." She's a single woman and her sister is working at minimum wage! How is she supposed to afford rent?

Just as he had dropped his eyes to the page in front of him, Henry messaged back.

She's not going to be unemployed or waiting for investigation for long. I just found out what's wrong. Nimueh has been adding an extra dose in her prescriptions. Easily fixed – extra water. Why didn't my father start with their department instead?

Merlin thought cautiously. If this was Arthur, he'd know what Merlin meant.

Because he's a bigger prat and bigger dollophead than you are.

* * *

Arthur read the last line and smiled to himself. Only one person he knew of would use that combination. Shaking his head, he brought the laptop and his evidence to his father. Richard sat at the dining table, watching as Nimueh read her directions wrong or forgot that she added something. Jennifer was immediately reinstated. Everything returned to normal. But, when it came to Nimueh, Richard couldn't punish her, using the excuse 'she 's old but, she's the best'. Arthur related the story to Merlin with pride in his eyes. A job well done. Merlin seemed to be lost in his own world. "Hey, Taliesin."

"Sorry?" Merlin blinked a few times. They were alone in the break room. "Oh, good job?"

"What's got in your head?" Arthur asked, taking a sip of the burnt coffee and smelling Merlin's. It didn't smell medicinal.

"Oh… You…" Merlin stretched out his hand, holding a paper towards Arthur. "I think you dropped this a while ago. Sorry I didn't return it sooner…"

Arthur raised an eyebrow and hesitantly, took it, slipping it into his pocket. "Thanks?"

The warlock nodded once, trying to control his breathing. He stood, ready for his rounds and called as he left, "see you, I guess."

* * *

 **A/N: Better than the original? I think so. Lancelot and Shalott return next chapter! Shalott is my own but, Lancelot has the same outlook on life as he did in the show! Thanks for your patience!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Originally posted on Valentines Day! (2018) Haha! Things are changing. So, because it was done in Valentines day, I probably added some fluff – lemon (is that still a thing? If it is, is it lemon?) area so, that'll be added. Also, I listen to metal and Until Eternity by Blackbriar was my favorite song when writing this. Arthur/Henry know the song and it suits the story. Maybe this'll be their song haha! By the by: this has a trigger for people like me who have tried pills. I don't recommend it and, I don't mean to hurt anyone. I'll put the scene in bold so you can avoid. You won't miss much.**

* * *

Arthur stifled his yawn and rubbed one of his eyes, exchanging for the other. Aside from school, trying to figure out Henry, re-customizing to living, the Merlin/Taliesin fiasco, the note and work, he found one more stressful object – vehicles. Richard sat behind him, snoring softly from the long day he had. Again, Arthur found the nagging, sinking feeling of his heart after catching a glimpse of Richard asleep. The shock of seeing Uther again had warn away.

He appeared to be older than his real age – just as he was in Camelot. Arthur shook his head and glanced at the green clock of the car, glaring at the time. One am. How had it become so late?

With another shake of his head, he stopped for the red light and plugged in Henry's iPod, turning it down once it started blaring. His eyes drifted to the backseat. Richard was a heavy sleeper. Hitting shuffle, Arthur continued to drive just as the music started.

"I loved you once, I loved you twice. I loved you in my previous lives." Arthur started singing off-tune, muttering to himself. Despite not knowing the song well, Henry's lips found the words easily. "I know your voice, I know your eyes. You haunt me in my dreams at night. Oh, my love, we'll meet again. We always do in the end. Our two souls, destined to be. You and I until eternity."

Richard kicked the back of Arthur's chair. Checking the rear-view mirror, Arthur saw his father smacking his lips and mutter under his breath, snoring again. Deciding to switch his occupation, Arthur focused on the lyrics. Why did the song speak so clearly to him? He shook his head as he turned into the driveway. Other songs had come and left but, the girl's haunting and unique voice held its sway.

Turning off the engine, Arthur woke a grumpy Richard. He felt pity as the other jumped and rubbed his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Almost two." Arthur answered, surprised that he was clutching the iPod. "How was your nap?"

"Fine." Richard climbed out of the backseat, stretching. "What do you say we take tomorrow off? I can call in and say we're sick."

"Please." Arthur replied as he opened the front door and collapsed onto the bed, not bothering to take off one shred of clothing.

* * *

 _The light brightened his room too soon. Pulling the covers over his head, Arthur could hear Merlin's laugh in his head. "Sorry, sire but, duty calls."_

 _Arthur groaned and muttered, "touch me and I'll have your head for treason."_

He felt himself doze off again before someone touched his shoulder. With a jerk upright, he collided against his father's chin. Rubbing his head, he apologized profusely. Richard smiled slightly and sat next to him. "I have to go into the office for a couple of hours. Come with me."

Arthur glanced at his clock, groaning as six am flashed before his eyes. "Can't you go by yourself?"

"I'm letting you play hooky. Please!" Arthur exhaled silently and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Fine." Standing up, he swayed toward the floor. Arthur clutched the end of his bed, relying on it for balance. "But you're driving!"

Richard agreed and handed Arthur a coffee. Arthur slipped his hand into his pocket, frowning as he touched metal and a piece of paper. He pulled out the latter, taking a sip of his coffee. He almost spat it out, recognizing both parties of the note. Merlin. Refreshing his brain with the questions he had meant to ask, his eyes lingered on their answers. As he read, he felt numerous emotions at once. Anger. Confusion. Peace. Love. Betrayal. Especially betrayal.

Arthur leaned against the kitchen counter as Richard dressed. Merlin was alive and well. Arthur worked with him, for Gods sake. But, who… Taliesin. Taliesin had handed him the note.

One thing was clear to Arthur: he needed to confront Taliesin. At that moment, Richard emerged. "Ready?"

"Very." Arthur answered vigorously.

* * *

For a Saturday, there weren't many people in the waiting room. As Arthur passed by Gwen and Morgana, he exchanged a small smile with the both and gestured to the room. "Where's everyone?"

Morgana laughed loudly, as though he had said the funniest thing in the world. Gwen shrugged. "Maybe we're going out of business."

Arthur smiled kindly and leaned over Gwen's shoulder. "And who's on staff?"

"Uh… Kevin. Louis. Of course, Taliesin practically lives here."

"Taliesin, great! Where is he?" Arthur knew it was un-Henry like but, he had to know the truth. He felt the intense stare of Morgana as Gwen traced Taliesin's name.

"He should be taking his first break now." Arthur patted Gwen's shoulder and waved at them. His bag in his hand, Arthur slipped past a few of the nurses, grinning as one of them short a flirty smile. _Yeah,_ he thought to himself, _I'm still the hottest guy here._ His grin fell as he opened the door to the break room. Taliesin sat alone, his nose in a book. Arthur hadn't planned what he'd say but, he knew this should be private. He locked the door and cleared his throat as he slid his stuff into his locker, slipping off his coat. Taliesin held up a finger and slid his bookmark into the center.

"Literature. Isn't it a wonderful thing? I feel like they're my only friends sometimes." Taliesin slipped the book into his bag and placed the bag into his locker. _The only friends that don't die on you, you mean?_ Arthur thought, biting his lip. A surge of compassion filled him but, the sense of betrayal pushed it down. How had he not seen the connection between Taliesin and Merlin before?

"T…. Taliesin." Arthur sat down, mumbling over the word.

"Henry." He grinned that goofy grin. Arthur felt his stomach turn. He was so close to knowing. Taking the note from his pocket, he watched Taliesin's face fall.

"Are you Merlin?"

"Depends." The usual cheeky answer. Arthur felt his blood boil.

"On?"

"Are you Arthur?" Taliesin held Arthur's gaze as the other gulped.

"Yes." Arthur whispered. Taliesin grinned.

"Yes. Nice to see you, too, prat." Merlin leaned back in his chair. Arthur felt himself shake with rage.

"Why weren't you there for my resurrections?" He blurted out randomly. He felt an irrational pull. Merlin sighed, rolling his eyes.

"God, doesn't matter how many times I say it, does it?" He turned to Arthur, his face serious. "As previously stated, I was busy trying to resurrect you. To give you my power if it were to help you, to keep you with me. Selfish, I know. How was I supposed to know you'd resurrect only in Wales?"

"I didn't just resurrect in Wales, idiot! I've been all over the world and you never searched for me!" Arthur crossed his arms over his chest, defiant.

"Correction: I didn't FIND you. I didn't know where to look." Merlin countered.

"You should have known! You're the magic one!" Arthur argued.

"By the time I used magic and could get NEAR you, you'd be dead." Merlin glared at his hands. "Don't you care that I spent almost a thousand years looking for you? To keep you safe?"

"You failed on that, didn't you?" He gritted his teeth. "And, here's another thing: why are we only together now?"

"My guess? Pay attention now." Merlin cleared his throat. "Fate."

Merlin's drawn out answer came out sassier than intended. _He thinks,_ Arthur thought, _that I'm stupid or something._

"You were there during World War Two. You attended to me. You can't say that it's only 'fate'." Arthur replied. Merlin flustered.

"Why didn't you say anything?" He muttered, backing into a corner.

"I was a trauma patient, Merlin. What was I going to say? You're the one with the freakin' magic!" He had already said this. He knew it. But, his anger, his arguments and, his irrationality was falling apart. Merlin shook his head.

"Fine. You have me on that one." Switching the conversation, Merlin touched Arthur's forearm. "But, I'm here now and I want to help. Can't we just live in the now before you die again and leave me alone until the next big war?"

"I don't know if I can trust you." Arthur answered, tearing away from Merlin. He saw the fight leave his friend's eyes, retiring to sadness and defeat. Arthur headed for the door, stopping when Merlin spoke again.

"Fine. But, let me tell you two things, Arthur. I'm old. I can wait another thousand years for you. You can't and you shouldn't waste your precious time hating me because of something so petty. Secondly, it doesn't matter if you trust me or not. I'm going to do my best to help you. No. I will help you again until the day you die in MY arms." Arthur heard Merlin's voice crack at the end, feeling a jab of guilt.

"Just… Stay away from me Merlin."

* * *

Arthur laughed loudly, gaining another sigh from Merlin from the other side of the room. His lackeys – the 'Knights' – surrounded Arthur all day at school. It had already been a day and night yet, the Once and Future King refused to look in his direction. Merlin was never the most patient but, hadn't he been fair and told Arthur everything?

He shook his head and divulged himself into his studying, memorizing the words. It was something to do, at least but, did all the textbooks they gave have to condescend so horribly – especially to one who already lived it? Still, he flipped through the textbooks and answered his worksheets. His eyes raised toward the cough of someone standing next to his table. A teacher with a long, pointy nose and a serious unibrow towered over Merlin, his dark eyes on the boy. Even though Merlin was tall, he felt a shudder climb up his spine as he gathered his things. The teacher turned towards the door. Merlin felt an urge to follow and answered the urge outside.

"Taliesin."

Merlin's eyes fluttered momentarily. Who was Taliesin? Oh yes, he was. Did he have this teacher? He scrutinized the instructor, wracking his brain for information. "I guess… Professor…"

"It does not matter my name." The teacher answered briefly as he leaned against a tree and lit a cigarette. Merlin scrunched his nose. Of course, he thought to himself, I'd get stuck with the one smoker of the faculty. The instructor chuckled as he blew smoke out of his nose.

"You'd never think it, Taliesin but, smoking distracts one from inner thoughts. As do other drugs." The teacher threw a crooked grin. Merlin raised an eyebrow as familiarity dawned. Kilgarrah. He hadn't thought of the dragon since learning of his death yet, if he was to put the great dragon into a person, it would be this smoking instructor. At this time, he was sure the instructor knew what he was thinking. His brow furrowed. _Out, get OUT of my head!_ He thought loudly, waiting for the flinch. If he had been able to read his thoughts, flinching was not the instructors' way of dealing with pain. Was he an instructor? Instead, he watched as he took another drag and formulated his next sentence. "You wouldn't think it but, some remember. Obviously, they do better than you."

With what? Merlin watched the instructor/stranger stomp out the butt and leave. For a moment, Merlin was sure there was a cape billowing behind him. What had been his purpose? Merlin sighed and breathed in the pollution. Distract himself by… doing drugs? What kind of stupid plan was that? Yes, I'm going to follow the strangers' example by killing myself. What a great idea.

Merlin shook his head and walked the way he came. Of course, he was on anxiety pills and any form of medicine that had helped him deal with depression after Arthur's death. But, was the stranger insinuating that he do harder drugs?

His eyes found Arthur again. He watched as the other bro-hugged one of his best friends. This façade we play, he thought towards the blonde, and yet, always the same roles.

* * *

"Hey, Nimueh." Merlin chirped in as he slithered to the front of the line. Many other patrons glared at him but didn't approach. One woman stomped on his foot as the surprised woman behind the desk smiled absentmindedly. She was beautiful for someone in their seventies, brilliant and yet, daft.

"Taliesin." She pointed at him as she stated his name, flipping through her bags. As she handed his prescription, she leaned over the counter. "Now remember, one every six hours."

Nimueh's brow arched as she spoke with sorrow. Merlin nodded. "I'll remember."

He paid her and passed everyone else. _Impatient bastards_ , he thought towards them, _I'm older than all of you combined._

 **Kilgarrah's words flowed through Merlin's brain as he slipped himself a pill. He hadn't realized it until he had taken one headache pill and two of his anxiety pills. The headache pill had left him feeling loopy, making him giddy. What had he started? He asked himself as he slipped into his bed. The world wasn't his issue. He was beyond earthly problems. The world was surreal. With that, Merlin slipped off into a dream state as the last stroke of midnight echoed in his mind.**

 **A month had passed and Merlin held tightly onto the headache bottle with all his might. His intake of the anxiety pills hadn't increased – those were pricey. He visited different pharmaceuticals, wondering if the owner would remember his face. But, there was no plan for Merlin's madness. It was just an addiction. Or so he told himself as he scratched his arm repeatedly, excited over the prospect of his pills. Already, he had gone through six bottles. Surely, another wouldn't hurt.**

 **He squirmed in his seat, watching the time tick on. His teacher droned on and on about literature. Or history. Or math. What class was this? He laughed to himself. It didn't matter.**

 **Once the bell rang, he ran out quick as a flash, ignoring his tilting body. The bathroom was his closest escape. He locked himself in a cubicle. Three pills. Did he already take three pills? You'd think he'd have remembered that. Three more. Did he take them?**

 **He couldn't feel his mind anymore, the sense of discombobulation taking over. His eyes tried hard to stay focused as he forced down another. That's when he tasted the bile mixed with white foam. His consciousness faded fast but, he was aware of the loud _thud_ his head had against the toilet.**

* * *

 _Bonehead!_ Arthur thought as he trotted after Merlin, wondering how the other hadn't run into other students. _Had he not heard_ Taliesin _and_ Henry _when their teacher was assigning work?_ Had his teacher not said those fateful words, Arthur would have happily continued to ignore Merlin. Why was it his luck to forever follow the stupid sorcerer?

Arthur shook his head after Merlin went into the washroom. Deciding not to enter, he went into the cafeteria and texted his father, informing him that he'd be late – he was doing a project with Taliesin. He received no response.

Arthur waited. And waited. And waited. At the hour mark, Arthur had enough. Did Merlin think that he could affect his grades? He pulled out his bookbag. One of his friends – Theo – approached Arthur. "Heads up, Henry! Washroom here is flooding."

"What?" Arthur raised an eyebrow. It had been one of those push down sinks. Theo shrugged.

"I went in to use the washroom and there's about… Three inches of water in. Toilets are broken, too."

Arthur blinked once. Twice. Three times. "Well, thanks."

"Yeah, no issue." As soon as Theo was out of sight, Arthur shoved his bookbags into his backpack and slipped into the flooding washroom. Theo hadn't exaggerated. But, this is where Merlin had gone.

"Merlin?" Arthur called, opening each cubicle as he did so. He frowned at his wet feet and glanced up, pausing. Had that glass always been cracked? He imagined Merlin ashamed of his magic, having accidentally used it. With new vigor, Arthur opened each cubicle door until one came that was locked. He rolled his eyes. _Of course, it had to be the last one._ Arthur turned to his side, pressing his shoulder against the door. Swinging himself at the door, he almost tumbled over Merlin's body. His face held an impassive expression as he took in the scene. Headache pills – two bottles full. A bookbag on the toilet tank. And Merlin, his forehead resting on the seat, not moving with dried foam on his mouth.

Arthur felt himself shake with rage. He remembered lunging toward Merlin then… Darkness. Friendly darkness. It took him a moment to remember he shared this body with Henry and Henry had taken control. Arthur regained control, surprised to find Merlin on his side outside the bathroom and Arthur's phone on the floor. Henry had also taken the time to grab his backpack.

From the back of his mind, a weary Henry yelled at Arthur for resuscitation. Arthur pinched Merlin's nose and pressed his lips against Merlin, exhaling. He pressed down on his lungs. Again. Again. Again.

Someone hauled Arthur off Merlin. He was visibly shaking now. Someone tossed a blanket over his shoulders. His eyes didn't move off of Merlin, noticing the contrast of his dark brown hair on the white tiles.

He only watched as they took Merlin to the hospital. In a daze, he could hear someone talking to him. His mind drifted to the time his servant had taken the chalice despite his own anger toward him. Had he been just as panicked? Was this worse? At least, then, there was a cure. He vaguely wondered if he should have let Merlin die at that point. He shook his head in answer immediately. The voice disappeared, replaced by a calm and commanding tone.

"Henry, what happened?" Arthur's head shot up, bewilderment reflected in Richard's tone.

"Sewage explosion." Arthur answered immediately, wondering if Richard would handle magic the same as Uther. His eyes returned to the ambulance.

"I meant with Taliesin."

"He was in the washroom." Arthur whispered, unsure of how to answer until the ambulance was out of his sight.

Arthur slipped through the halls in a daze. Soccer practice had been cancelled as well as yearbook and College Start for him due to Merlin's near-death experience. He desperately needed a distraction but, none where there. Of course, that's when Henry's boyfriend showed up. In greeting, the taller boy shoved his tongue in Arthur's mouth. For a moment, Arthur considered Merlin's soft brown hair as he tangled his fingers in Andy's. Andy parted from Arthur, concern on his face. "How are you feelin'?"

"About?" Arthur replied curtly, almost hearing the scolding from Henry.

"The freak who drowned." The words were harmless but, the tone was argumentative. Arthur felt his blood boil.

"He's not a freak. And, he has a name." He could almost hear Andy's eyes roll mentally.

"Seriously. Are you doing OK?" Andy stepped back, playing with the ends of Arthur's hair.

"Yeah, I'm fine." The revulsion he learned won out the butterflies accumulating in his stomach. He slipped out of Andy's grasp as he grabbed his backpack. Andy pouted.

"Henry, your shift doesn't start until five. Just a few more minutes?" He held onto Arthur's jacket. Arthur shook his head.

"I can't. I promised I'd be there early." Kissing Andy's cheek, he dispersed quickly as he wiped off excess saliva. Merlin returned to his mind as worry took control.

* * *

Richard Bates – Uther incarnate. Arthur slumped in his seat and bit his tongue the best he could. Richard only continued ranting. "How could we let a volunteer with a _drug_ problem in? I should've seen it. Like grandfather, like grandson."

Like grandson. The words echoed in Arthur's mind as he held a snigger. He hadn't heard that expression before. Richard continued.

"He's trash! If he wakes up, I'll fire him!" Richard's red face finally clammed up. Arthur's head shot up.

"If? IF he wakes up? What do you mean if?" Arthur was fully alert now. "And, what do you mean, 'fire' him? He's the best we've ever had!"

Richard glanced up. "Taliesin has been having seizures, won't respond to medication and, just recently, his lips have started turning blue. Common in his pill of choice. It might be better to put him in the permanent ward. I have other patients that could use the room."

Arthur shifted in his seat. Words were difficult to formulate but, he rested his hands on the desk. "Let him be my patient."

"What?" Richard asked.

"Let him be my patient. I'll look after him and, he'll wake."

Richard stared at his son then snorted. "It's highly improbable that he'll wake, Henry. And, it'll be a waste of your time and talents."

"I don't care!" Arthur yelled. Richard raised an eyebrow. "He's my friend and I need to try."

Richard sat quietly, then agreed. Arthur was in charge of Merlin. Like always.

* * *

Arthur had become accustomed to seeing Merlin's pale face over the next two days. It was the only thing he could think to do, unsure if Merlin could hear him. Merlin slept on, not tossing or turning in his usual way. It was unnatural to Arthur, especially with the IV in his arm. Late the second day, he held onto Merlin's hand and leaned into his hear. "Use your magic. Heal yourself. I need you."

He waited expectantly, eager for any change. He watched as Merlin's body glowed slightly, words mumbling under Merlin's breath. From his hand, a small, blue ball with a strand of gold emerged. Arthur recognized it at once as the light source that had saved him. He smiled to himself.

For ten minutes, the ball continued to emerge and disappear. Arthur checked the screen each time, panicked. His eyebrow raised and calmness flooded when it didn't flatline. He placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder, shaking him gently. No response. He cleared his throat and repeated what he had said, sounding more urgent. The blue ball returned.

Noise came from the hallway. Quickly, he closed the door and pulled down the blind. The light was stronger but, still wavered. Intuitively, Arthur pressed the ball down into Merlin's hand.

Surprised, he watched as the ball caused Merlin to glow. Merlin's heart monitor became stronger. He flew his eyes open, a brilliant gold light shimmering in them. A vase flew off the table before his eyes returned to their normal deep blue. With a groan, he stretched and grabbed the pillow, closing his eyes again. "Five more minutes."

Arthur laughed melodically as Merlin bolted upright, glaring at the needle in his arm. Without stopping, Arthur threw his arms around Merlin, squeezing him tightly. Merlin patted Arthur's shoulder lightly. When Arthur let go, he hit Merlin's shoulder and watched the other man rub the mark.

"What was that for?" Merlin asked, checking the area for a bruise.

"That's for scaring the crap out of me." They stayed quiet for a moment. Arthur spoke again. "Why did you do it?"

"You mean… The pills?" Merlin clarified. Arthur nodded. "Well, seeing as I'm technically living _for_ you and you hate me, I figured death might help. Of course, what I forgot was that I don't die – I just can't wake up until I have a reason to."

"You've done this to yourself before?" Arthur asked. Merlin rolled his shoulders back.

"Yeah, I've poisoned myself. It seems it's the only thing that really does anything. Stabbing, I heal from. Beheading, I heal from. Burning, yup. Poisoning is the only thing that keeps me asleep for a hundred years." He poked the area, wincing.

"What caused you to wake up?" Arthur asked, intrigue on his face.

"You." Merlin stared into Arthur's eyes. "You woke up cause when I 'died', I'd be an old man."

"What's it like when you die?" Arthur asked, breaking a silence.

"It's like… Being aware and not being able to do anything about it. Worse than being a ghost." They fell into silence again. Merlin pulled out the IV, sticking his tongue out in disgust.

"What was that blue…. Light… thingy?" Arthur asked after another ten minutes had ticked by. His eyes switched to his watch and he frowned. Had it really been an hour since? Merlin's wry laugh caught him off guard.

"That 'blue light thingy' is my life line. Usually, it heals slowly. Takes years." He touched his face, his brow furrowed then, he glanced at Arthur in puzzlement. "How much time has passed?"

Arthur shrugged. "About a week."

"No. No, that's not right." Merlin stared at his reflection in the television, amazement on his face. "It can't have been a week."

"Well, it was. What do you want, a year?" Arthur answered. Merlin turned to him again, his eyes accusing.

"What. Did. You. Do?"

"I just pushed your… life line thingy into your palm. You started glowing and then, you were awake." Regardless of all their time together, Merlin had never been horribly angry with him. But then, they were never equals. Merlin's eyes changed from accusing to confused. He stared at his hand, flexing. He spent a while doing this, as if the secret of the universe was in his palms. Arthur stood, knowing he had other patients now.

"I'll see you soon, Taliesin."

Without taking his eyes off his hand, Merlin nodded. "See you, Henry."


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: OH NO! IT'S A LONG ONE! D; 11 Pages. /3 /3 /3 all the heartbreaks! Anyway, I only own Shalott. I don't own Merlin or Uther or Arthur or any of the other characters (except Henry because Henry is useless).**

* * *

"Pass?" Merlin suggested. Everyone in the circle stared at him as if he were crazy, or glared at him. A month had gone by and, though Merlin had recovered, Arthur could only tell his father that grief counselling might help him. After all, if Merlin remembered: Taliesin is just getting over his grandfather's death. You always told me that suicide attempts after the death of someone close to you is a cry for help. Not strong men, like Bates, but others. Weaklings. Those are you words, father. Plus, he's the best volunteer we've got.

Arthur had beamed at him and that is the story of how Merlin was sentenced to this 'grief' counselling. And, of course, it had to be GROUP 'grief' counselling.

Taylor, the leader of this cult, shook his head and took that condescending tone that set Merlin aflame with anger. "Now, Taliesin, we're all here to get support from each other. You cannot heal until you've dealt with it."

Martha, one of the women who was in this stupid session due to the death of her husband, nodded and placed her hand on Merlin's knee. "You're among friends. What you say won't be used against you."

"I'm just not… comfortable talking to strangers about this." Merlin answered quickly. Taylor shrugged.

"It's all part of the healing process." Merlin sighed. Of course, it's part of the 'healing process'. After all, a thousand-year-old warlock who waited for Arthur to return to help his best friend has so much in common with all these people who are dealing with death. This, he reminded himself, is why I don't talk to people when Arthur is dead. But, the sooner I get out of here, the sooner I can be useful.

Just as he was thinking about his lie, Taylor spoke again. "Excuse me, this session is already started."

Merlin turned, a smile spreading across his face – part from recognition and part from the attention drifting from him. Standing in the doorway, a familiar brunette with kind, brown eyes smiled softly at Taylor. Lancelot DuLac strode to the center of the circle to meet with Taylor. "I apologize for interrupting…"

He handed over a note. Taylor read it, confusion turning into a fake smile he used for everyone in the group. He tossed the note into his binder and told him to take a seat. Everyone's attentions returned to Merlin but, Merlin's attention was focused on the Lancelot look-alike. Just like that, time was up.

Merlin wandered down the halls, desperately searching for Arthur. He found him in Gaius' chamber as the old man dressed, finally leaving this 'dismal' place. Arthur smiled at Merlin as Gaius leaned against the boys' arm, his eyes on the cane nearby. Merlin grabbed the cane and held it out to Gaius. The old man took it gratefully and spend off with his cane to the exit. Both Merlin and Arthur laughed, quickly dying down.

"How's the grief session going?" Arthur asked as they started after Gaius.

"It's bull. I've lost a lot of people and talking about it doesn't help!" A concerned look crossed Arthur's face as Merlin's face broke into a smile. "But, I saw someone who we know."

"Mordred?" Arthur scrunched his face.

"No… Remember, it goes in sequence." Arthur furrowed his brow as Merlin continued. "Lancelot! He's studying to be a doctor once he gets over… this portion."

Arthur brightened at the thought. Merlin nodded, sensing the shift. "I'll see what I can do."

"Also, help me with the story I need for the sessions." Merlin pleaded. Arthur shrugged.

"As far as I can tell, you're insane. Text me."

* * *

"Hi. I'm Taliesin and I'm dealing with grief." The sentence made him smile despite his anger of having to share. It was more like an AA meeting. Maybe it was – some smelled of a distillery. He had only been paying some attention.

"Hi, Taliesin." The crowd echoed. Merlin looked at Taylor, questioning what to say next.

"Tell us what happened." Taylor suggested as a start. Merlin sighed and rubbed his temples. This was more annoying then having to cram for any test.

"I guess… I just… Needed an escape. A brief escape." Merlin answered, finally. He was unable to say more than that, unsure of what to say. The room was quiet. Merlin waited for more instruction.

Taylor cleared his throat. "And?"

"That's all. That's all that happened." Merlin shrugged.

"Well… That's good for a start. Thank you." Taylor smiled encouragingly. He turned his attention to the latest newcomer – Lancelot who, was named Blake. _Blah, Blake,_ Merlin thought. "Blake, would you like to share your story?"

Blake glanced around the room nervously, gathering his courage. "H… Hi. I'm Blake…"

"Hi, Blake." The group started. _Yeah,_ Merlin thought, _definitely AA._ Blake remained silent, his lips moving to find the words to start.

"Maybe you could start with how you came to negative grief?" Taylor suggested, eyeing the paper. Merlin raised an eyebrow. Blake nodded.

"There was this… girl. Beautiful, clever, shy… I don't think we ever really talked. And, well… She started acting like we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I guess it was my fault… I led her on and I didn't stop it… But, apparently, being pleasant isn't leading someone on. Or so my guidance counsellor thinks. Anyway, she started following me and stuffing my locker with love letters…" Blake swallowed audibly. After a couple of minutes, he breathed deeply and cleared his throat. "A couple of months ago… She… She died. Drowned. They found the boat in the middle of the lake and her body floating next to it…"

"I think I remember reading that." Martha interrupted. Lancelot gripped the underside of his chair. "Didn't they rule it as a suicide?"

Blake nodded, hiding his face. Merlin knew that expression well. He wore it many times when people he loved were in trouble. Determination. Guilt. Merlin stared at him for several minutes. Taylor had drifted all their other attentions to another in the group. There was something about Blake's countenance that had Merlin convinced that it wasn't the whole story. For that reason, he waited for Blake to finish up packing and the room to clear.

"Hey. Blake, right?" Merlin tried, smiling politely. Blake glanced up.

"Yeah… Uh, Taliesin?" Blake pointed towards him.

"Yeah. I'm sorry about… Martha. She says the most inconsiderate things when it's not needed. And… About the girl."

"Thanks." Blake muttered, turning his head towards the window at the mention of the girl. Merlin tried to hide his suspicion.

"What's up?" Merlin asked, setting his backpack down.

"Hm? Oh, it's… It's nothing."

"You sure?" Merlin pressed. Blake stopped and surveyed him slowly.

"No." He answered after a few minutes. "But, if I tell you everything, you have to promise to keep it to yourself."

"Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a sword in my eye." Merlin replied. Blake glanced at the door and then the walls, stopping at the window then, back to Merlin.

"Well…" He set his bag down and sat in an available chair. Merlin followed in suit, sitting close to Blake. "A few days after her… I was drinking. I felt bad for the girl and, I remember, I was talking with my friend who said, 'be glad that Avalon bitch is dead'."

Blake's voice dropped to a whisper on the swear. "And… this black cat comes running in just as he insults her and claws him so badly, he needed stitches. Ever since then… It's kind of like…"

"Like she's continuously watching you from beyond the grave in the form of animals?" Merlin replied. Blake raised an eyebrow and nodded.

"The worst of it is…"

"The nightmares." Merlin nodded, sharing a pitying smile. Blake paused, his brows furrowed.

"Yeah." He glanced at his watch and grabbed the strap. "I'm late for my first shift. See you later?"

"Yeah, definitely." Merlin smiled, his face falling once Blake had left. The Lady of Shalott – the witch who fell in love with Lancelot the first – had returned. And this time, it was no mystical animal. It was perfectly ordinary. Merlin had dealt with her aftermath, when Lancelot was dead. Come to think of it, when Arthur was dead. She had blamed him for both.

With a sigh, he dragged a hand through his hair. How was he going to rid him of her?

* * *

Arthur choked on his food when Merlin had arrived at his table filled with his friends. It was uncommon for Merlin to approach anyone, never mind Arthur's table of Knights. Glancing at his friends, he nodded to Merlin as they glared or raised an eyebrow. Merlin gratefully took a seat. A few of Arthur's 'knights' inched their chairs away from him, giving them enough space to talk.

"What's up?" Arthur asked quietly. Merlin glanced in Blake's direction. Arthur frowned. "I tried."

"I need to keep an eye on him." Merlin informed Arthur. Arthur set his cutlery down.

"I can't, OK? I asked and I can't. I'm sorry." He lifted his fork again.

"Right." Merlin shot Arthur a look. The young prince set his fork down again. "I waited two centuries only to be told to sit back and watch it happen again."

"That's not fair. If you want him in so much, you change U… Richard's mind."

"You don't think I haven't tried that? He's as thick headed as ever." They observed Blake's movements as he ignored those around him. Even without the attention of his stalker, Blake had a lot of attention – especially from females. Merlin smiled. The strong, silent, reading type is everyone's fantasy, then. Arthur groaned.

"Fine. If you can get him to budge a little, I'll try to make him see sense. Deal, Taliesin?"

Merlin grinned and stood. "See you at work, Henry."

Taking a turn away from the cafeteria, Merlin entered the library and found an old year book from the shelf. Apparently, everyone could have their picture in the yearbook at this school. It was different from what he had been accustomed to. With a sigh, he flipped over to the first page, scanning for Avalon. That must have been her last name. His eyes swept over the page, widening at a familiar face. Natalia Avalon with her clear green eyes and sinister smirk so familiar in another time.

* * *

When Merlin had moved into his apartment, it had been silent. Now, at midnight, just as he was replying to an online wizarding friend, a shrill sound broke through the apartment's silence. Squinting at the clock, Merlin grumbled to himself. He was sure that the neighbors across the hall from him had forgotten their key again. He stood at the intercom when they buzzed again. He flicked the switch, deciding to tell them off. "If you lost your key, buzz the landlord!"

He flicked it down. From the other side, he could hear murmuring. Finally, a clear voice answered. "It's… Henry and Blake."

After buzzing them in, Merlin threw on a shirt and quickly messaged his warlock friend. Then, he leaned expectantly against the doorframe. Arthur appeared first, his face drained of color. A sheepish Lancelot followed.

"What happened?" Merlin shouted at Lancelot as he set Arthur on the couch.

"He asked his dad if… I could… Assist him. His dad refused and Henry and he got into an argument. I found him wandering the streets, singing loudly with a bottle in his hand. I offered him a ride. He said… He said this address." Lancelot ran a hand through his hair. "I feel so bad. I didn't even know…"

Merlin felt his heart sink as he slipped a bucket near Arthur's head, the conversation replaying in his head. He cleared it, knowing it was his fault. His eyes lingered momentarily before turning to his other guest. "It's not your fault. How about I make you both some tea?"

Lancelot shook his head and pushed Merlin onto the couch. "I'll make the tea. I owe it to the both of you."

Merlin thanked him. Once convinced that Lancelot was out of earshot, he hit Arthur's arm. The blonde man's head lolled to Merlin. "You knew that was going to happen."

"Know what?" Arthur breathed in heavily, wracking his brain. "Father mentioned understaffing. I suggest it and he went berserk!"

"Well, yeah! Did you expect him to change that much? No one changed!" Merlin inhaled, massaging his head. It was like he was stuck momentarily. "Back when we were knights, we were able to change an entire world within a generation. No one changes…"

"Back when we were knights?" A new voice asked. Merlin's head snapped up toward Lancelot. Arthur smiled and slung an arm around Merlin's shoulder.

"Yeah, when we play Knights!" Merlin intervened. Arthur raised an eyebrow. Lancelot set the mugs down and sat on the chair across from them.

"I see…" Lancelot set down the teas. Merlin picked it up instantly. "Sorry but… How long have you two been?"

Merlin started choking on it, coughing as he reached to set it back down. When his air passages had cleared out, he heard Arthur laugh. "What makes you say that?"

"Couple of things. Henry kept saying that you were going to be mad at him. Some of the things he said make more sense than reality. And, of course, you're not denying it. Lancelot took a sip of tea, his eyes on the water. Merlin raised an eyebrow at a drunken Arthur.

"What did he say?"

"He just kept calling me Lancelot, insisting he was Arthur. And that he couldn't keep Uther from making the same mistake." Merlin breathed in a sigh of relief.

"Yeah… Well, you know, Henry's a fan of Arthurian legend. Half the time, he believes it himself.

Lancelot grew concerned as Arthur kicked Merlin's leg. Merlin grinned to himself. _Poetry? This and poetry. You sure know how to make me sound homo, don't you?_

"Isn't that a sign of schizophrenia or multiple personality disorder?" Lancelot asked.

"Or a creative brain." Merlin answered. Lancelot nodded and set his tea down.

"I have to get going. Call me if you need a hand." He slipped his number into Merlin's hand and shot him a pitiful smile. Arthur woke at the slam of the door.

"Arthurian Legend?" Arthur glared.

"You were supposed to be asleep. What did you want? The truth?" Merlin argued, his blue eyes narrowing. Arthur shook his head.

"How about something that made me sound less like a romantic girl?"

"You were a damsel." Merlin muttered, feeling the connection of Arthur's foot and Merlin's back. Merlin slipped his laptop onto his lap. His friend had left for school but, his incantation had been incomplete. Arthur leaned over the computer, sipping tea.

"What does that say? Is it in… English?"

"No, old Welsh. Jed is a huge fan of Celtics. He's a practicing warlock."

"Did you say you're the best warlock around?" Merlin snorted.

"Yeah, after Kilgarrah." He rolled his eyes.

"Who's Kilgarrah?" Arthur asked, resting his head against Merlin's shoulder. Merlin froze momentarily. _He's drunk._

"Well… You remember that big dragon you slew? And Balinor, the last of the Dragon Lords?"

"Yeah…"

"Well…. You didn't so much as slay him as I found out Balinor was my dad and I, the last of the Dragon Lords." Arthur groaned and headbutted Merlin's upper arm.

"Why do you always wait until the last possible moment to tell me shit?"

"Simple: you don't ask." Merlin retorted, glancing over at Arthur. After a moment, he cleared his throat. "If you're staying over, you can have the bed.

Arthur shook his head and collapsed to the couch arm. "You take the bed. It's your home."

* * *

In the morning, Merlin was temporarily blinded by the morning sun. Merlin had fallen asleep on top of Arthur, dozing off at three am and collapsing on a drunken Arthur. He entertained ideas of old – sharing a burlap blanket, Arthur's sword hovering in close range. The more Merlin thought of it, the more Merlin noticed the happiness worming its way through his body, overheating him at times.

Arthur, still half asleep, swung an arm around Merlin's frame. Merlin's tired focus watched the sleeping face of Arthur.

"Sorry." Arthur muttered as he woke. Merlin's small frame had been crushed as the more muscled one rose, careful not to damage his sleeping companion. Merlin continued to steal glances at Arthur, disappointed once the door closed. Funny – he had disappointed Arthur many times but now, without so much as a goodbye, Merlin felt cheap. After all, he had given Arthur the couch.

Even now, Merlin stole glances at Arthur across the cafeteria with a feeling of disgust. His oldest friend continued to ignore him. There he was, laughing with his crowd of idiots, treating Merlin as if he were invisible. He felt it fester in his mind as a rage stormed across his face.

"Taliesin?" A familiar voice called. Merlin snapped out of his thoughts and found Lancelot standing next to his table, a tray in hand.

"Blake." Merlin blinked a few times then shifted awkwardly, nervously glancing at Arthur's table before returning to Lancelot. "What are you doing here?"

Lancelot lifted the tray slightly. "Kind of obvious… Unless, you don't want me…"

His face fell at the prospect. Merlin offered a chair. For a moment, there was nothing but silence until Lancelot brought up homework. Merlin, having never attended a school, felt his head spin as he pulled out his binder. "Shit."

"Forgot?" Lancelot asked.

"No… Just… Didn't." He smiled pathetically as Lancelot let a roar of laughter, his face reddening as people turned to see – Arthur included. Merlin felt a surge of pride, finally gaining Arthur's attention. He fell into deep conversations with Lancelot. After all, he had silently vowed to fix Lancelot's Shalott problem.

* * *

Unfortunately for Merlin, as he sat in the back of the classroom, the Shalott problem had a new target. He felt eyes on him. Thinking it was Arthur on the other side of the room, he ignored it until he realized that was not the direction he was being watched from. Looking up from his textbook, Merlin stared straight into the eyes of a black cat, its yellow eyes narrowed and its ears back. Normally, Merlin liked cats. However… Merlin shuddered.

It wasn't until class was over that some bullies had thrown Merlin's backpack in the ladies washroom (a mistake they will remember, Merlin swore). Some girls who were doing their make up in the mirror called him a pervert and hit him with their bags, exiting as soon as they could. Merlin was alone in the washroom, his backpack's items strewn under a stall. With grace, he stood, their opinion valid of him but, hating their ignorance.

An old mist flooded Merlin's vision as he leaned down to pick up the assortment, circling around him. It wasn't until he started coughing water. It burned his veins momentarily before she materialized: the Lady of Shalott. Her form was the same it had always been: golden hair, narrowed cat eyes and a dress that held the appearance of scales. Merlin stood in her presence. "Milady."

She narrowed her eyes further. "Don't pretend to gain favor, Merlin of Camelot, Druids prophesised Emrys. Why keep that which belongs to me when you have that which belongs to you?"

Her hair flicked like a cat tail, ready to pounce. Merlin prepared a counter. "Why do you torture that which is yours? And, how can he be yours when he is someone else's?"

She let out a screech like an eagle. Merlin covered his ears. "How dare you critique my ways? You, who have no notion of what goes on in his heart nor mind. I have seen both! And, he shall be mine."

Her voice lowered at the last, almost like a prayer. Merlin sought her eyes. "You've never talked to him. I'd know better what goes on in his mind than you."

"Listen to the mighty warlock, trying to do trickery, explaining himself!" She glanced in the mirror, whiskers growing from her cheeks. "You say away from mine, I stay away from yours."

Merlin heard the threat as the catlike form stood before him in a way of a deal. He growled at it. "Go ahead. Arthur would be glad to see you."

He bowed and left, his backpack in his hand.

Merlin ran toward Lancelot, slamming into him. He knew his hair and eyes were wild and Lancelot made no hesitation in asking what happened. At first, he brushed it off, wondering if this new carnation of Lancelot could be as observant as the other. Lancelot grabbed Merlin's shoulder and sank down to his level, his eyes on Merlin's. "Seriously, Taliesin. What happened?"

"Have you seen a black kitten that looks oh-so-playful?" Merlin inquired, trying hard not to let anything give him away. Lancelot stared blankly but nodded.

"You've seen it too? This is my fault." He stood straight again and ran a hand through his hair. "I shouldn't have told you what happened."

"Listen, Blake. There are many things in this world that are confusing." Merlin studied him carefully. "Tell me: do you sometimes see the girl in the cat?"

Startled, Lancelot's eyes widened. "Y… Yes."

"And, does this cat sometimes… Transform into the girl?" Merlin knew the second Lancelot stuttered that it was so.

"How… How did you know that?"

"Call it intuition."

"No, seriously." Lancelot grabbed Merlin's arm as the warlock started walking. "How did you know that?"

"She appeared to me. Threatened me. But, you're not alone, Lance. Blake. I know enough."

"Why do you call me Lance? How do you know that it isn't your imagination?" Lancelot asked, his eyebrow rising further upward with speculation and suspicion. Merlin patted his hand.

"I'll tell all. Remind me of these points and I'll answer them. But, for now, off to work we go." He whistled the tune of the dwarves from Snow White, leaving a frazzled Lancelot behind him.

* * *

Unfortunately, Merlin couldn't get out from Lancelot's gaze. His face had become serene towards Merlin, watchful. However, they had a shift to complete – a boring shift. Arthur had finally broken Uther, saying he'd take full responsibility. Merlin understood, with the sick constantly coughing. Why was it, even when he wasn't in a war, he got stuck looking after the sick?

As accustomed to looking after the ill as Merlin was, he allowed himself to try to remember his first encounter with Shalott, the Lady of the Lake. It had been a legend Lancelot had told him once before and he had used it for Arthur.

 _Drunk in his pain, Merlin followed the Faery path to the Lake of Avalon. The Faeries held the dead, watching them. And each faery ignored his pleas. He broke the willow branched and summoned a halfling from olden times. She approached_

 _"Lady, rejected by both human and faery. She who haunts the lake of Avalon where her body was found. She who loved an unattainable man. I seek your help."_

 _"Merlin Balar, Druid Emrys, I am honored." She floated towards him, her body and face disfigured from the elements. "But, I know not why you call me so."_

 _"Lady locked in a tower, hidden from the world. Surely, you of all would know why with your mirror."_

 _"That mirror cracked long ago when Lancelot himself beheld my body. He thought I was beautiful." She glowed at the thought._

 _"I ask for the return of the Once and Future King of Albion – Arthur Pendragon." He answered truthfully, bowing._

 _Shalott blinked rapidly before a smile appeared on her lips. "Two of your friends reside on this lake. Arthur. Or Freya?"_

 _Merlin stared at her for a long time, reading her face. She continued, overjoyed. "One you cannot have, the other, willing. Which shall you pick? Which shall you scorn?"_

 _"Freya is long since passed. It is Arthur I need." Merlin replied, phrasing his words carefully._

 _"And neither are in my power to return. How sad, little Warlock, to choose."_

Merlin shook himself from the daydream only for Arthur and Lancelot to be staring at him. With a quick glance around, Merlin found himself in the locker room, his head swirling. Mist from the memory. With slow, deep breaths, he felt himself give way to his exhaustion. Meekly, he smiled at their unfriendly faces. "What happened?"

"Well…" Blake started.

"What happened? Really? That's the first thing you ask?" Arthur inhaled deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You created one of the biggest accidents of your whole miserable life!"

"Calm down, Henry. He just cut the power, not the generator." Blake answered back.

"Yes but, in that second, it could have killed a lot of people." Arthur retorted.

"It was like magic, though." Blake pondered. "I mean, he was just standing in the hallway."

"It was magic." Merlin answered. Blake raised a sceptical eyebrow as Arthur paled. "I'll explain later. You should return to your job duties, Blake."

"Uh… Right?" Blake scratched his head a little and shrugged. As soon as he left, Arthur punched Merlin's shoulder. Merlin rubbed the spot immediately.

"What, you just go around telling everybody?" Arthur exclaimed.

"Lancelot knew I had magic when you didn't. He figured it out in one adventure."

"But Blake isn't Lancelot! They might look the same and share the same mannerisms but, they're not the same person!" Arthur argued.

"Don't you get it? They _are_ the same person! He's come back many times in different forms and yet, he always knows!" Merlin bit his lip, his eyes on the door Blake had gone through. "I need him to know."

"You have me. Why does he need to know?" Arthur crossed his arms, leaning against a locker. Merlin glanced for any other noise in the locker room.

"Do you remember the Griffin?"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "You mean the big bird thing that terrorized Camelot? Yes."

"It arrived about the time that Lancelot did." Merlin hoped that he wasn't as big of a dollop head as he usually was.

"So… Lancelot's a sorcerer?" Merlin facepalmed as Arthur blinked, stupidly.

"No!" He pinched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes tightly. "The Griffin was summoned by the Lady of Shalott!"

"Isn't that the Lady of the Lake?" Arthur interjected. Merlin glared at him.

"No, the Lady of the Lake and Shalott are not the same person. Lake lady has been gone for a while now. The Lady of Shalott was converted into a poem. She loved Lancelot and vowed to do anything for him. He wanted to be a knight, she tried to make that happen in the afterlife. But, he rejected her because he loved Gwen. So, she cursed him and he spent most of his time away from Camelot trying to get rid of the curse. Thankfully, he managed it with the help of the Fae."

"OK… But that doesn't explain…"

"ARTHUR PENDRAGON, BLIBBERING IDIOT! Listen to me!" Merlin watched Arthur's shock towards his scream. Calming himself, he returned to his original voice. "The Lady of Shalott is back. Lancelot never knew that the Griffin and himself were connected but, there's a black cat who has now threatened your life. Understand?"

"So… Kill the cat and she leaves Lancelot alone? Wait, why me?" Arthur raised his eyebrow at Merlin.

"I got involved so, she threatened you."

"But, how does she know about me?"

Merlin paled slightly, becoming increasingly interested in the tile under his feet. "She knows about you because… I asked her to restore your life."

Silence followed. Merlin didn't dare meet the eyes of his friend and Arthur stood stunned. Shaking himself out of his stupor, the blond replied. "So, you want to protect Lancelot from this psycho bitch? And, you want to protect me from her?"

"Essentially, yes." Merlin's eyes strayed to Arthur's face.

"Why do you insist on protecting everyone when you can't protect yourself?" Arthur asked rhetorically. He rubbed his temples with his forefinger, planning. "Here's what we do. I move in with you for the time being, as does Blake. We'll take it in shifts until we come up with a way to get rid of Shalott. Yes?"

Merlin blinked furiously before he assented.

* * *

Lancelot glanced over the place before uneasily setting his backpack down and turning to the two. "Is this really necessary?"

"Yes." Arthur replied, speaking for Merlin. Lancelot watched Arthur, leaning into Merlin.

"I still can't believe you told him."

"What else could I do?" Merlin asked, apologetically. "It's not just you anymore. She's threatened me, she's threatened Henry… Like it or not, we're all in this together."

"You still have to explain that… Magic comment to me." Lancelot said. Merlin held in a breath as Arthur came again, placing a hand on the slighter man.

"The magic comment…" Merlin muttered to himself. "Is difficult to explain."

"It really isn't." Arthur said. "Unless you're not suffering from the memories."

Lancelot blinked numerous times, sitting down. "You mean like… Fighting in World War One? Dying? Feeling a sense of… love when I was sitting with…"

"With Gwen? Or Gwaine?" Merlin asked. Arthur shot him a look and he shrugged. "Honestly, I've seen Lancelot more than I've seen you. He wound up with either depending on who he met first."

Lancelot raised an eyebrow. "Gwen? Gwaine? Wait… Guinevere? As in…"

"King Arthur and the Round Table? Yes." Arthur finished quickly. "Apparently, we've been searching for centuries to reunite. Merlin – sorry, Taliesin – is the only one who's never died, waiting for us to remember, begging not to be alone. Apparently, the witch, Shalott-"

"She's not a witch! She just fell in love with Lancelot – you." Merlin turned to the newest initiate there. "Of course, she lives forever so, naturally, she'd find him – you."

"So… How do I get rid of her?" Lancelot asked, blinking rapidly. Merlin shrugged.

"Arthur thinks killing the kitty will work. Banishing spells, telling her off… I don't know. It's unchartered territory."

"But, you're supposed to be the one who knows!" Lancelot argued. "I mean, you've been alive all this time!"

"Yeah but, it's not like these issues came up in the first life." Merlin reasoned. "I was more concerned about a Griffin the first time, not so much concerned about why or by who."

He sat on the floor, spreading his arms out. Arthur set up the couch for Lancelot as Merlin fell into trance, chanting in the language of Dragon's – his magic flowing to the arcane language. Lancelot glanced at Arthur.

"Is… What is he speaking?"

"He's speaking the language of magic, as far as I'm aware of." Arthur glanced up and laid his hand on the other. "I remember my life as Arthur Pendragon."

"You're both wacko!" Lancelot answered though, he didn't shrug out of Arthur's grasp.

"You are, too!" He glanced at the warlock before continuing. "I remember every situation that was impossible. Merlin works hard to protect those around him. He always has. Especially me.

"Of course, he'd protect you." Lancelot answered, his eyes unwavering. His voice was filled with warmth instead of annoyance. His voice fell to a whisper. "When we sit at the table, he gives you the most anxious expressions, making sure you're OK. If it helps you, he'll focus."

Arthur gulped, his eyes on the warlock. Merlin stood again and stretched, ending the trance. His eyes moved to the couch. "I'll sleep on it."

"No, this is your home." Lancelot stayed. Arthur shook his head.

"No, you need protection. You take the bed with Merlin."

Merlin held up both his hands. "Guys, you take the bed. I won't sleep until I find a banishing spell – or, at least one that strays her off your path."

His vow ceased the argument and an air of responsibility landed on Merlin's shoulders.

Merlin brewed the coffee as Arthur and Lancelot talked to themselves. Despite Merlin's protest that he'd look for more banishing spells, specifically from his Warlock friend, Arthur talked strategy.

"Why didn't you do this before?" Arthur asked when Merlin returned.

"Excuse me for being a little distracted trying to resurrect you and not focusing on possible problems." Merlin grumbled, following it with bloody prat pole. Arthur sighed as Lancelot sniggered.

"Prat pole?"

"Yeah. I don't like profanity." With a glance at Arthur, he added funny, isn't it? Arthur opened a new tab while refreshing the e-mail.

"There's got to be something." He started typing into google. Merlin stopped him, scowling.

"It took me years to find one family that held the old belief and you want to type in 'how to banish a really old witch from finding a person'? Yeah, that'll work." The two glared at each other with Arthur breaking it.

"You're right. I just… I can't sit and wait. You know that's never been my strong suit. And, I can't sleep knowing danger that I don't know how to stop is lurking around."

"Yeah, I know." Merlin answered, turning to Lancelot. "We know she's playing on your pity. Is there… Is there anything blocking you from telling her to go away?"

"I tried… That's when she…" Lancelot bit his lip, forcing the memory out of his mind. Merlin nodded as Arthur sat.

"She what?"

"Drowned." Merlin replied, shooting a warning towards Arthur, returning to Lancelot. "Tell you what. Arthur is a trained swordsman. You sleep, and he'll watch for her."

"Yes, because black cats are easily spotted in the dark." Arthur snarked but stood.

"What'll you do?" Lancelot asked. Merlin shrugged, putting in his headphones.

"My usual – search for it in old books, wait for Warlock99 to get back to me, keep you updated. See if there's any repercussions to my plans."

"What plans?" Arthur asked, irritated as he stretched. Merlin just smiled.

Banishing spells weren't the warlock's normal area of expertise. Still, Merlin poured through the old diaries he kept, searching for something. Why had he never listened to those around him?

Warlock 99 hadn't been any help either – apart from just severing the link. Of course, that would have left Lancelot broken and hollow if he had any feelings towards her – which, he idd. Or, at least, manipulated emotions. Merlin poured over the sources on his computer, frustration and tiredness sweeping over him. With another pot of coffee and two am, he heard Arthur adjust his position in his chair. Merlin slid into the room with a mug for them both.

"Any…" Arthur began, taking the first sip mid sentence. Merlin nodded.

"Sadly. But, it all depends on Lancelot. I can give him the magic…" Merlin sat next to him. Arthur nodded and leaned his head against Merlin's shoulder. The blue eyes gleamed up at him. "Why don't you take a nap, Arthur."

"I'm a soldier." Arthur recited from an old memory, sounding more like the version of himself Merlin remembered. Straightening up, Arthur coughed. "Soldier's don't nap when danger is around."

"No but, soldier's sleep in shifts." Merlin replied. Arthur lightly nudged Merlin.

"Then, I'll take first watch."

"You'll be up all night. Why don't I-OK!" Arthur had shot him a death glare. Merlin laid on the floor and snuggled into a blanket, instantly asleep.

* * *

Arthur watched over the two sleeping forms, his eyes, though drooping, refused to close. He had tried to sleep earlier but, his mind recalled Lancelot's words: of course, he'd protect you.

Arthur's eyes shifted to Merlin. Had the Warlock worked this hard for him? He knew Merlin lived for him – or so his magic side said. Why else would he continuously regenerate to the point of youth?

A woman's form interrupted his thoughts. She grinned at him and pressed a finger on her lips as she hovered by the window. A voice in his head answered his objections. "I'm only here to talk with you, Arthur of the Pendragon Clan, Once and Future King."

Arthur examined his friends, bewildered. Not one of them strayed. He clutched his knife. _Say what you wish to, Witch._

Her face screwed up at the slur but, she maintained her calm appearance. "I know the boy – Henry – writhes inside you. He lives and breathes but, his energy fades. The longer you live, the faster he dies. I can help you.

 _Let me guess: Kill Merlin? Give you Lancelot?_ Shalott let out a harsh laugh. Arthur nudged Merlin with his foot. Why had he let him sleep, knowing what a sound sleeper the boy was.

"I'd never kill Merlin. You'd never help me, then. But, maybe we could salvage a body for you. Salvage someone."

 _In exchange for Lancelot._ She gave him a knowing grin.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry I haven't been on. Happy Holidays/Yule/Hanukah/Anything else I missed! This is the LAST chapter I have to rework and then, new chapter! I'll also be posting the announcement in case my old readers keep thinking 'she'll never post a new one!'. I prove you wrong! Mwhahahahaha! Anyway, I only own Shalott. All credit goes where it belongs. And, from this point on, EMO ARTHUR! Haha, kidding… Kind of.**

 **Also, if you like my writing because you think I'm a good author, I have two books on fiction press. If you're interested, send me a PM and I'll give you a link.**

* * *

Arthur stood in the kitchen, working on eggs and toast. His once drooping eyes had been wide since the visit with Shalott, her dark figure looming over a sleeping Lancelot and a grateful smile on her lips. _I'll keep my promise_ , she swore. Arthur knew things that swore lied but, he didn't want to lose that chance.

He patted a small crystal in his pocket, knowing that a bit of an incantation coiled around it. Shalott's very own crystal and incantation, he reminded himself as he bit his lip.

Merlin slipped into the kitchen, bright-eyed and bushy tail as Arthur started serving up the food. "Where's Lancelot?"

"Hmm?" Arthur replied. He thought of all the excuses he could come up with. Merlin would have a fit if he found out Arthur traded his friend.

"Where's Lancelot?" Merlin repeated, raising an eyebrow. Arthur served the plate to Merlin, staring at his own breakfast as Merlin poured a cup of coffee.

"He went home." Arthur finally answered, all other excuses leaving his mind. _Stupid!_ He told himself, mentally face palming. Changing the subject, he pointed to the plate. "Eat."

He knew Merlin would do as he told though, his eyes never left Arthur's back. The blonde shrugged his shoulders, hoping Merlin wouldn't be able to tell his lie. He was grateful for the brief reprieve of Merlin's company, the guilt eating him up inside. He could almost feel Henry's presence near him, urging him to tell Merlin. Arthur hushed him without a word and turned, blinking repeatedly at Merlin's scarf. The other rested a hand on his hip. "What?"

Arthur stared at it, unable to control the wolfish grin on his face. "Times have changed. I was looking forward to your neckerchief."

"The one I owned…" Merlin recalled. "It disintegrated over time."

Arthur nodded and grabbed his own coat, avoiding Merlin's eyes.

* * *

Math class. Every kid must hate Math, Arthur thought to himself as he glimpsed most of his classmates rolling their eyes or staring out the window. Arthur shut his eyes and relaxed. His brain traveled through the centuries. Battles he had fought had come back slowly over the months. He counted each.

How long had he been in this body? A day, a year? What about the last time he was resurrected? He recalled marrying Gwen as easily as he recalled how he had dismissed Merlin's magic. He remembered standing next to Merlin once he had left his body, watching the tears and eventual hysteria take control of his friend's body.

Arthur frowned, furrowing his brow. How did he remember that? Using his inner strength, he concentrated his will as he summoned Henry from deep within. Henry's presence was slow to answer. When he heard the inner voice, it was no more than a child's whisper. Arthur honed the life inside of him, pitying the boy. Henry made no remark and quickly dispersed in exhaustion.

Henry! Arthur screamed in his head, falling out of his seat. A few of the children laughed while the teacher screwed her face to a look of annoyance. "Mr. Bates!"

"Could I have the bathroom pass, please?" Arthur asked, eyes widening into a look of innocence. He briefly wondered if Henry would have said can instead of could. From the nonchalant expression of the onlookers, Arthur guessed not. She raised her eyebrow in exasperation but nodded. Arthur stood and walked out of the room. No, strutted, Arthur realized with slight horror. _I'd strut. Henry would have slouched._ Arthur reprimanded himself. How many of his mannerisms did Arthur already change?

Arthur shook his head but quickened his pace towards the washroom and locking the door after he checked the stalls. On his knees, he held the crystal Shalott gave him and stared into it. "I call on the power of the lake. I call on the power of the water she drowned. Let her come to me."

Arthur repeated the words three times, each more hurried than the last. Her face appeared in the mirror over his head. Slowly, he stood. She smiled with her voice echoing in his head. "Arthur, nice to see you."

"Cut the crap!" He answered the mirror. He felt his eyes watering. "He's dying! You said you'd take care of it!"

"And I have, young Pendragon. I have lent him my power." Shalott's response sent shudders down his spine. She's lying, he thought. She's lying to me.

"Bull. I can't sense him. He's dying inside of me."

"Just because you can't sense him doesn't mean he's dying." Shalott reasoned, making a movement of a snake.

"You got what you wanted! Save him! Please!" Arthur answered, not listening. Shalott's once smiling face turned into a grimace.

"I have saved him. This conversation is useless." Her face disappeared from the mirror. Stunned, Arthur stood in front of the sink, his head down. She was lying. She had to be.

Staring into the mirror, Arthur wiped the tear streaks off his face. He breathed a sigh of regret. I can only help you with one person, Arthur thought. After all, Merlin wouldn't betray him again. But, Arthur thought and clasped his hands behind his back, if I tell him, he wouldn't understand about Shalott or Lancelot. He'd hate me.

No, Arthur reasoned. No, I can't tell Merlin. I broke my promise. He can't know. Ever.

* * *

"My liege!" Merlin mocked, greeting Arthur as he bowed. A few people around them giggled. Arthur glared at Merlin.

"Don't do that!" He returned, searching through his locker.

"OK, OK. Whatever his Lordship wants." Merlin grinned as Arthur shot daggers. "So, what are we thinking about?"

"Nothing." Arthur said.

"Nothing? In particular or… Am I right and your brain is empty?" The teasing smugness in Merlin's voice gained a grimace.

"Nothing in particular." Arthur knew that Merlin was watching him with wary eyes. He closed the door and stepped toward the parking lot, frowning as Merlin blocked his path.

"What's going on with you?"

"Honestly." Arthur rested his hand on his hip. "Nothings going on! Stop acting like a paranoid old man, wouldn't you?"

"OK… I'll try. Let's just… go, I guess." Merlin trudged behind Arthur and into his car. The ride was quiet and Arthur barrelled out of his seat, as if he were hunting a deer at a fast pace. Merlin ran after him. "Wait!"

"I'll talk to you when I get home, OK?" Arthur yelled, running. Merlin slowed and nodded. Arthur didn't look back again. No goodbye was necessary.

* * *

He sighed and stopped once in the comfort of the men's room. Again, he delved within and tried to hear Henry, pausing when he found that the presence was weaker than it was this morning. Arthur gripped his hair and slapped himself to stop the emotional pain. Swallowing, he led himself to Uther's door. No, not Uther. Richard, Arthur reminded himself. He examined his father's appearance, pausing. Sweat beads formed on his face as his face turned blotchy from news. "Henry."

The professional air he held remained. Arthur nodded and closed the door. "Dr. Bates. Should we talk?"

"Yes." Richard gestured to a chair and stood. Arthur sat in the directed chair, his eyebrow raised. They fell quiet.

"May I ask what it's about?" Arthur asked after a few minutes. Richard lifted his head, surprised then paused.

"Right. Your grandfather…" Arthur remained unchanged as fear wrapped itself around his stomach. His brain wracked for what came after Lancelot? Richard said nothing, lost in his own thoughts. Arthur waited a moment.

"What happened?" He asked. Richard blinked stupidly.

"Your… That is, we are…" He breathed in sharply. "We're being sued."

"For malpractice?" Arthur felt his gut sink. Who didn't he treat correctly? Richard nodded. "Grandad is old." Richard started explaining. Richard fell into his ranting. Arthur waited for him to be calm. He returned. "The boy blames your grandfather and, naturally, he wants to sue! Or worse, if he doesn't get to."

Richard collapsed, defeated. Arthur nodded. "Right, OK."

He knew his flippant response would cause Uther's hand to fly. Richard, on the other hand, stared out. Arthur slipped out of the study and in to see Malcolm. The elder's face lightened up.

"Oh, my dear, dear Henry!" Malcolm gestured for Arthur to join him. The latter did so, his expression neutral.

"How's the ulcer today?" Arthur asked after Malcolm was done gushing. Malcolm pshyeahed it.

"So much like a doctor, Henry. Always asking that. When I was your age, I'd do the same." Malcolm grinned and pressed on the injury. "Richard says I should be here for a couple of days to a week."

"Then you should stay for a week." Arthur replied, sullenly. Malcolm studied his grandson.

"Anything on your mind?" Malcolm asked.

Why is everyone asking? Arthur thought, annoyed. He took a deep breath. "Do… Do you remember a couple that you operated on?"

Malcolm glared. "Richard asked me the same thing. House fire. But, I don't remember any Edward Harry Harrison."

Arthur nodded and gripped Malcolm's hand. "I'll grab some stew for you."

Using this excuse and ignoring complaints, he slipped out of the room. Approaching Jennifer, Arthur stopped. Her curly black hair and kind face reminded him of Gwen in that moment. But, Arthur continued, everyone remembers me of someone else. He returned to his quest and stated her name.

"Henry!" Gwen replied, taking her eyes off the clipboard.

"Have you seen Taliesin?" Arthur almost laughed, remembering how many times he had asked that. And, the irony that he wanted to avoid.

"Not personally, no. But, he's working the B ward today!" She answered, helpfully. With a quick thank you, he slipped into Merlin's domain. Merlin had just left a room when Arthur tapped him on the shoulder. His blue eyes met Arthur's with a smile. Arthur thought only of Malcolm.

"Henry."

"I need you to do me a favor." Arthur pulled Merlin into the staff room, relieved it was empty. Merlin's face contorted into worry.

"Sure, what's up?"

"Do you remember who came after Shalott?" Arthur asked, his eyes returning to Merlin's. The other boy pressed a finger to his lower lip.

"Let's see… Lancelot and the Griffin, then…" Merlin's eyes widened. "Edwin? Edwin's back, already? It hasn't even been a full month!"

"Well, he is!" Arthur answered, sinking into a chair. "And he's suing Malcolm."

"After Gaius again." Merlin shook his head and sat across from Arthur. "What do you need?"

"Any information you can find on Edward Harry Harrison." Arthur burst out laughing at the funny tongue twister. Merlin shrugged and waited for Arthur's laughter to die down.

"I need you to come with me to the school dance tomorrow." Any trace of Arthur's previous laughter died.

"Why?"

"I promised Lancelot I wouldn't let anything happen to him. He told… Bianca? I think? Anyway, he told her he'd escort her to the masquerade ball. I want to be there in case Shalott's there." Arthur's eyes glanced down.

"I don't think Richard will let me."

"Try!" Merlin insisted. "Please?"

Arthur's sighed and thought about Henry. An idea to ask Shalott about Henry came through. "All right. I'll go. But, if I got to watch you with your boyfriend, I'm leaving."

He glanced at his watch and stood. Merlin started. "He's not my… boyfriend."

The sound of the door closing stopped.

* * *

Arthur tugged at his tuxedo and rolled his eyes as his father waved him off, grinning madly to himself. With the drive, he vaguely wondered how to address Shalott and wondered how to tell Merlin the truth the rest of the time if he did see Shalott.

He pulled up to see his friend on the school steps, staring at his phone. He snapped his mask into place and approached him. "God, school functions are so lame!"

Arthur stated to him as he approached. Merlin, dressed in a similar fashion, shrugged. "What's really lame are the decorations. The purpose is the same as it's always been."

"Oh?" Arthur challenged as they entered the gym. "What's the purpose of this? Dress up and, apparently, fornicate on the dancefloor."

Merlin laughed loudly, drawing attention. "Fornicate? Did you just say fornicate?"

Others grinned as Arthur turned red. "Yes, why not? It's a perfectly fine word!"

"But no one says fornicate anymore!" He wiped the tears from his eyes as it subsided. "God, I missed words like that. Even if they're said by a clot pole."

Arthur beamed at the familiar insult as Merlin stuck his tongue out at him. He scanned the area, looking for Shalott. She would probably be a kitten. Or would she try to blend in? From the look of the area, there was no Lancelot either. In the meantime, someone had sidled up to Arthur. "Nice to see you, Henry Bates."

Startled, Arthur glanced at him. Half his face was burned. "Edward Harry Harrison, I presume?"

"You guess correctly." Edward surveyed the population. "Is your family paying?"

"No. As we explained, it happens." Arthur tried. Edward tutted.

"Fine." He pointed at Merlin. "Hot boy you got."

"We're just friends." Arthur retorted quickly. Edward smirked.

"I always get my way, Henry. Or I do the worst anyone can imagine." Edward slipped into the crowd. Arthur followed him, desperately searching for the figure. He stopped once he realized that Merlin was talking to him. He watched their body language, trying to read it. Merlin had one foot pointed away, his weight on it. Edward grabbed Merlin's arm. Arthur bit his lip.

Separating couples, he wound up right in between the two, his hand on Edward's arm. He squeezed hard, eyes furious. Edward grinned at the duo. "Later."

"What the frickity frak was that crack about?" Merlin asked, following Arthur. "I can take care of myself."

"What do you mean?" Arthur asked, half aware. His eyes scanned each hallway and doorway, expecting Edward to run out. Merlin reached out and held onto Arthur's arm.

"That thing with the guy. I mean, thanks but…" Arthur pressed Merlin's body between the locker and his own. Merlin continued his questions, louder. Arthur leaned into Merlin's ear.

"Be quiet and I'll explain later."

"No, you'll explain now!" He whispered back as Arthur tried to find a way without worrying about Edward. A few partygoers stopped in the hallway due to Merlin's questions. Arthur frowned. I could separate, Arthur thought, but, they'd take Merlin away from me. I could explain now. But, he'll have more questions.

He turned to another crowd, facing Edward with his smirk. Arthur gulped and turned to Merlin. His voice dipped to a whisper. "Just follow my lead."

He pressed his lips against Merlin's, his eyes on Edward. Merlin squealed, drawing his attention back to the situation. Merlin's lips reacted to his after a moment. Arthur tapped on his right rib and gestured to Edward. Then, Arthur's eyes closed.

* * *

"For the millionth time, Merlin, I'm sorry!" Arthur replied.

"You kissed me to get some guy off our back!" Merlin argued, crossing his arms over his chest. "Did you at least **consider** other options?"

"That was the only one that came to mind!" Arthur argued. Merlin muttered prat under his breath.

"Was I, at least, good?" Merlin asked, suddenly self-conscious.

"You drool a bit much." Arthur answered. He waited for the next question patiently.

"Did it mean anything to you?" Merlin asked. Arthur sputtered.

"Of course not!" He answered though, he wasn't sure. He tried to get a hint of Merlin's emotions but, found nothing as his friend accessed the med database. Arthur briefly wondered what he was thinking.

"Here it is. That couple had a few doctors, Gaius being one. He signed the death certificates but, they did not die on his watch." Merlin clicked a few times and typed. Arthur parked the car and leaned over, trying to understand Merlin's ability. He smirked after a few minutes, to Arthur's fascination. "He had a Greg Harrison operating. Their parents were wealthy and, Greg wanted the fortune."

"He'd never believe that." Arthur answered, sighing and resting his head against the head rest.

"Who are you and what have you done with Arthur?" Arthur shrugged at the question. Merlin sighed. "Night, Arthur."

* * *

Arthur collapsed in his bed once he entered the empty house. His mind started racing once he shut his eyes. Out of body images flowed back, sharing Merlin's hand twining in Arthur's hair, tangling. For a moment, Arthur had been lost in the kiss. In that moment, everything disappeared.

Arthur flopped onto his back, envisioning a black cat all around him. He had forgotten about Henry. With a slight panic, he summoned the boys energy. He frowned as it took a long time for the boy to emerge. He faded away before Arthur could stop him. Arthur tore off his blankets and held the crystal to his heart. He muttered the chant once, twice, three times. Four times. He waited. By the tenth time, Arthur was hysteric, yelling it out loud. Richard barged into the room.

"Henry, for Christ's sake!" Richard wiped the sleep from his eyes. Arthur felt tears seeping from his own as he tried again, desperately. Richard grabbed the crystal from Arthur. The other screamed, reaching for it as he tried to finish his incantation. Richard pinned Arthur down, concern spreading across his face. Arthur glared at him.

"I'm trying to save your son! Do you want him to die?" Arthur yelled, panicking as he squirmed. Richard ran out of the room, returning to find Arthur on the floor, holding the crystal, swaying back and forth, repeating the incantation. Again, Richard dragged him onto his bed. His fingers expertly tapped the needle as his knees held his arms. The tip slid gracefully into Arthur's arm. They stayed like that, Arthur's breathing starting to even and sleep draining his fight. Richard grimaced to himself and tucked the crystal into his pocket.

In the morning, Arthur found himself dazed and groggy. He couldn't find the words to ask when Richard had started bringing morphine home. His mind wandered from the subject. He gripped his stomach, wondering if the butterflies were from it.

* * *

Merlin gripped his belongings tightly to himself and set them on the couch. He had been in a slight daze. His finger traced his lips. He shut his eyes momentarily. His imagination had gotten the better of him many times tonight, always surreal. But, the most imaginative had been the real.

Merlin shook his head and made a coffee, glaring at the dark living room. Absentmindedly, he licked his lips, swearing that he could still taste Arthur.

His hand fell from his face. That had been a last resort. The only thing that Arthur could think of. Did that mean that kissing Merlin had been on the other's mind before? Did it mean they were together? Did he panic?

No, Merlin thought, Arthur never panicked – especially about Merlin. Still… If the kiss meant anything to Arthur…

Merlin shook his head, trying to concentrate on his school work. He glanced up at the time, frowning at one in the morning. He shut his books and wondered if he should sleep instead. He licked his lips again.

He stood up and looked at the moon. I swear to you, Goddess of love, he thought desperately, if Arthur loves me this way, I will try. It's the least I can do.

He slid into his bed in contempt and set the alarm for three hours of sleep. If, he thought sternly.

* * *

Merlin slipped into class twenty minutes after it started, his eyes red from the lack of sleep. The teacher ignored Merlin as he sat down in the least disruptive manner. It was when others stared at him that she became annoyed. "Taliesin, if you have something to share, share it with the class."

"I have nothing to share." Merlin stated, definitively.

"Bull." One of the kids shouted. Merlin recognized it as Henry's ex. Others turned in their seats freely, since the teacher had stopped her lesson. Merlin glared at Henry's ex.

"I swear, I have nothing to share."

"Then, why were you kissing Henry fucking Bates?" The ex asked. The teacher followed it up by language. Merlin smirked, annoyed.

"He was kissing me." The ex glared, slitting almost as Morgana would have done. Merlin stood and grabbed his books. "What I do back is not your business."

He stormed off, shaking his head. Teenagers. Again, he hid in the bathroom stall, shaking with anger. He had been in the right, he told himself over and over.

His head began to swirl as he calmed down. Smells of herbs long forgotten clouded his vision. Magic, Merlin realized. He stopped in his tracks. Serious magic from the smell.

His body began to sweat as he checked for all other signs of it. Candles, anything. Unfortunately, there wasn't one. Not in this bathroom, anyway.

* * *

 **A/N: HEY! I FINISHED IT! Next chapter is a new chapter!**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: HEY! Valentines day again? Wow… You guys must be seething about my not so frequent updating. I'm sorry! *shares food and coffee***

 **Lust has won. Mainly cause I had to get a survey on a random talk site and, lust won that so… I suck at writing lustful Arthur… T. T**

* * *

Merlin stood awkwardly frozen in the bathroom sometime after the incident, training his overrun mind and ignoring his hyperventilating. Although the initial smell of someone working a spell had faded, Merlin could still feel the power that had come through. His body shook for a while as he leaned against the counter. He hadn't felt magic that powerful since… He bit his lip, shaking away the images of Arthur from his head. Finally, he regained control of his body. _It wasn't for me, then,_ he thought as he straightened himself out.

Staring into the mirror, he thought of the smell. It was a love spell. But, usually, those were garbage. _Who would,_ he continued as he slipped out of the restroom, _ruin someone's free will just to have them?_ He jumped to Shalott but, quickly dismissed it. With Lancelot's disappearance, she probably had what she wanted. His heart sank briefly at the thought, envisioning Lancelot locked in a cage and fed rotting birds or something.

He was vaguely aware that his legs had started moving but, didn't think of where they were taking him. He was unceremoniously pulled from his thoughts after stumbling into a group full of guys. _Strange,_ Merlin thought as he placed each hand on two boys' shoulders, trying to squeeze his way through. They glared at him and closed the gap.

Irritated, Merlin circled the crowd like a lion stalking its prey only, his eyes were on his locker. Finding a gap, he got on his hands and knees, avoiding the legs around him. Managing to free himself, Merlin dusted himself off and stepped towards his locker. The blonde head of familiar hair turned towards him as Merlin's eyes widened. Arthur's arm was over a guy's shoulder, his lips against the guys ear.

"Tally!" Arthur greeted, almost throwing himself on top of Merlin's form. The guy who had been his interest scowled at Merlin.

"Locker." Merlin gasped as Arthur bit Merlin's neck, feverishly pushing a pouting Arthur into the crowd.

"No, no, it's fine!" Arthur soothed some of the onlookers waiting for their turn. "He'll make it up to me."

 _Oh, I bloody well won't!_ Merlin thought, seething through his teeth. He took a deep breath. Obviously, this wasn't Arthur's behavior. He knew that much. Scanning the crowd, with the help of his locker mirror, he didn't see anyone who seemed to be singled out by the love spell. Then again, Arthur was making rounds.

Merlin raised an eyebrow. Most of these guys were obnoxiously straight. Yet, they seemed to be advancingly interested in Arthur.

"Right, Tally?" Merlin felt the hard slap of Arthur's hand on his shoulder. He flinched from the sudden contact, too aware of Arthur's breath on his ear. He shrugged it off, slammed his locker and ran from the glares of others. That was the first time he witnessed the crowd of girls, all patiently waiting, some sighing, some fangirling. He shook his head as he cleared his thoughts, wondering why some weren't pulling their boyfriends away from Arthur. After all, they're girls.

* * *

Merlin collapsed on his couch, glad for the day off. Opening his textbook, his mind continuously returned to the ho of Albion. He wracked his brain, wondering if Arthur hadn't acted the same way in Camelot. Shaking that thought away, he decisively answered himself. Arthur wouldn't have. It wouldn't have been proper.

Giving up, he threw his textbook into the corner and opened his laptop. Warlock had last been online two hours ago. Merlin figured that meant he had gone to school. Three PM meant seven hours ago so… that would be… eight in the morning.

Sighing loudly, he explained the circumstances and the spell smell in the bathroom. He already knew it held love spell ingredients, but he didn't know what it was. After some debate, he signed into his e-mail to find too many messages from Arthur. The oldest messages ranged from Tally to TAAAALLLLLLLLY to TALIESIN! To WHY YOU NO LIKE ME? Merlin read through each message, deleting the majority. Finally, he made it to the newest message.

"Sorry for interrupting your day off.

I'm also sorry for how I was acting earlier today. I don't know what happened but, as I remember it, I was… crude. Disgusting, actually.

So, if you can forgive me, forgive me now. I have about… three thousand million of these messages and status updates… Merlin, I'm really sorry."

Merlin furrowed a brow and bit his lip. His hand hovered over the keyboard, ready to reply.

"Not your fault. Love spell. I think."

Sending, he wondered briefly is this had been an act. But, when Arthur didn't respond immediately, he figured it was sincere. He spent the majority of his day off re-reading his notes, doing some of his homework, and pondering. What had happened after Edwin? When was Arthur under a love spell?

He recalled Elena but, she had been obvious. Plus, this was more around the time when Morgana was still a threat – and Agravaine. But, Elena had been a changeling.

It was like a lightbulb blew up in Merlin's head. Changeling. Sidhe. Both are faeries. Sophia was a Sidhe. The more Merlin thought about it, the more excited he became. He messaged Arthur about it in caps before the smile fell.

Sophia had been using her staff to fall in love. She wouldn't have needed the herbs of old to make magic happen. He groaned in defeat and let his head droop. Unless… She hadn't been born as a Sidhe.

Taking out a sheet of paper, he wrote Sophia's name, the herbs of love spell and how Arthur was acting. Under that, he wrote a list of suspects. He wrote Shalott and pressed a finger to his bottom lip. There had been a large crowd of people around Arthur. All boys. But, there wasn't one that stuck out. The girls had been patiently waiting, as he recalled. There were a few fangirling. But, who?

Sighing, he threw his pencil across the room and looked up the school yearbook from the homepage. There were plenty of girls named Sophia – but not one matched the description of the Sidhe.

Merlin lay on the couch and covered his eyes with his forearm. He had run out of ideas for who it could have been and who it would be. How was he supposed to help Arthur if he didn't know jack? He may have dozed off, he may have just been too pre-occupied but he jolted awake at the sound of one of his websites alert. He sat up and rubbed his eyes before checking. With a smile, he opened Warlock's message.

"Man, I don't know… Could be love spell… Are there any other spells that include those ingredients?"

Merlin replied quickly, excited that the other was home.

"That's what I'm saying. I don't know."

"From the description… It kind of sounds like a lust spell."

"A lust spell?"

"You know… Instead of love, you just want to sleep with everyone?"

"How powerful would it have to be?"

"Well, it would definitely have to be strong enough to break through the preferences."

Merlin continued his conversation with Warlock, the endless possibilities in his head. He knew what to look for – a red tinge in the eyes. Anyone working with powerful elements would exert themselves, he knew, and love spells would take away the ability to be happy. Would lust work the same?

* * *

Merlin returned to school and smiled at Arthur's figure. He wore a hoodie and averted others gazes. Other boys pretended he wasn't there, each embarrassed for their own reasons. Merlin took the chance the spell was off and approached him. "Hey."

Arthur ignored him. Merlin spoke again. "This will pass."

Again, Arthur didn't speak. Merlin shrugged and examined the areas around him. It was obvious that the lust charm wasn't on Arthur's person, Merlin thought, or it wouldn't have died away. Clearing his mind, he focused on the people around him. _No, it couldn't have been any of them_ , he decided. _Or Arthur would be acting like he did previously._ With a sigh, he headed off to class.

* * *

By lunchtime, Ho Arthur had resurfaced – except Merlin no longer focused on him. Based on the population of boys reciprocating the flirt, he figured it wouldn't be a boy. His attention drifted to the girls. Again, most were patient… Almost like zombies. His brow furrowed momentarily as he focused on the fangirls. Only two of them. He approached them.

"Hi." They stared, eyes wide. Both were red rimmed. Merlin sighed. "You know, you shouldn't take away free will from people."

"You should be thanking us." One of them said. The other looked ashamed. With a flip of her hair, she grinned. "Or, are you just angry that his attention is elsewhere."

"It does more harm than good. Take it off." His voice was more like a strict teacher than anything else.

"Nope." The same one said. The other held out a crystal.

"I'm sorry." Merlin held the crystal in his hand, weighing it.

"Why would you do that?"

"It was fun." The first speaker stated.

He glared at her and sat next to the one that had given him the crystal, blocking the arrogant one from their conversation. "Why would you do it?"

"I thought… If some of the guys fell for Henry for a little while – a week or so, they'd stop saying mean things about his… Sexuality." She paused the last word, whispering it. "But, I did it wrong. It was only supposed to affect their perceptions to an 'awe' when they saw you two being all couple like and move on. I'm sorry, Taliesin."

He raised an eyebrow, surprised that she had called him by his name more so than them thinking they were a couple. The Evil one pushed him aside. "I thought we were doing it so we could mock everyone."

"I only said that so you'd go along with it." The girl raised her head for the first time. She was pale, her eyes bloodshot. Merlin bit his lip, analyzing her sunken cheeks.

"One: why do you think Henry and I are a couple? And… Who taught you the spell?" He knew the latter was more important but, the curiosity surged forth with a slight blush. She seemed to respond better now that his voice had softened.

"Aren't you?" The ashamed girl questioned. Merlin shook his head. "Oh… I'm sorry."

"But, who taught it to you?"

"What makes you think she was taught anything?" The Evil one asked, haughtily. The ashamed shook her head.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

"Well… I thought it was my reflection but, it wasn't. It was acting weird. Like, it was mimicking me but, then, it stopped. It pricked its finger and started drawing something and I freaked out." She scratched the back of her head. "There was this sudden… Feeling that everything would be OK if I just copied it and, I did and… She was nice and she told me."

"I thought we were doing it so we could punish the rest." The Evil one stated, aghast. Merlin stepped on the crystal, breaking it. People were coming out of their trances.

 _Shalott or Sidhe, I don't know._ Merlin nodded twice and dropped the crystal, stepping on it. The reaction was almost instantaneous. He heard a chorus of others surprise, some girls yelling at their boyfriends… He glanced at the ashamed one. "Don't do things like that again. It's not your choice."

He stormed off into the bathroom, the words of the old Dragons flowing from his mouth as he cut his finger with magic. Standing in the boys bathroom, he drew the insignia on the mirror and called her out. Shalott appeared slowly, her eyes narrowed. "Warlock of old, what brings you here?"

"You answered." He stared at her for a few seconds before the anger boiled again. "Why did you show those girls how to do that lust spell? And, where's Lancelot?"

"I can answer one or the other, not both. Choose which is more important to you, Merlin."

Merlin paused, wracking his brain. Lancelot would live through this and he would see him again. With that in mind, his gaze focused on Shalott. "The first."

"Human minds have been my playthings for centuries. The one girl was rude. I didn't like her. But, the other… Just a slip of a girl. So sweet. She would have used it for good instead of evil. And, right now, you might need another for the good."

"But, why would you involve yourself in this?" Shalott grinned.

* * *

 **AN: Better. Also, I'm sorry that I'm not updating as frequently - I have a new job now that's taking up most of my time T. T Insert hashtag Adulting Right but, I can guarantee there will be a new chapter inevitably. Maybe once a month or just over. I'm working on 5 stories at the same time - DIFFICULT. Plus, I might be taking courses again soon. So, who knows? Also, chapter 9 is ready just not written.**


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